After a season in which we met gay Agent Steve Jinks, saw his blossoming BFF relationship with Claudia, witnessed Pete offer him his shirtless glory, and saw him fired by Regent Mrs. Frederic for taking an ethical stand … we’ve come to the two-hour season finale of Warehouse 13.
To say it was a roller coaster ride is an understatement. We began with a tense, slow climb, followed by a rush of euphoria, then another climb, then when it looked as though it was going to completely fly off the tracks, a last minute loop-de-loop saved it, and left us wanting more.
The finale was actually two episodes back-to-back, and it’s a good thing (especially for AfterElton) that they decided to combine them, otherwise the events at the end of the first part would cause a sh*t storm.
But the two parts blended seamlessly, and we didn’t get a chance to let the shocker of Steve’s sacrifice really set in before we were back into the action of part two.
Then there was that one short line of dialogue at the end that changes everything.
Can one short line of dialogue really have that much of an impact?
This one does.
Let’s take a chronological look back at the highlights … the funny, the tense, the heartbreaking … and the potentially, um … lifechanging.
The Pete Cave
The Agents have finally figured out that the Warehouse has been infiltrated and bugged, literally. Nanites have run rampant in the computer system, and have given baddie Walter Sykes info on the Collodi Bracelet (which he needs to walk again), and a Super Top Secret File that only Regents can access.
Luckily, it’s doubtful that Sykes’ cute Canadian hacker Tyler has been able to decipher it yet, and Claudia gets to work to beat him to the punch.
Myka reasonably asserts that Pete‘s Regent mother Jane could provide info on the file, but Jane refuses, stating that it’s for Regent eyes only. When Myka points out that it’s sort of a special occasion, Jane shoots her down, saying that the Regents, “Have a plan in place,” and Pete provides no assistance, choosing to side with his mom.
Pete excuses himself to “tag some artifacts,” which in this case is not a euphemism. Myka follows him, confused why he would just roll over like that, even to his mom, and asks why he capitulated.
Pete smiles, and presses a button, revealing the never-before-seen, Super Secret “Pete Cave!”
It’s Pete’s sanctuary, and contains everything you’d think would be in there: Sports equipment, tacky furniture, old copies of Honcho Penthouse with the pages stuck together. He tells Myka to have a seat, and she delivers a classic Pete/Myka line:
“You’re not gonna make me watch Porky’s again, are you?
Actually, Pete unveils a board filled with all of the info obtained about Sykes, and provides helpful exposition for those just tuning in:
Walter Sykes, paralyzed as a child, gets his hands on the Collodi Bracelet, which allows him to walk again, but apparently turns him into the worst guy ever. The Warehouse snags it, Sykes wants it back. He makes millions in hedge funds, then ten years ago, he cashes out and apparently vanishes off the face of the Earth.
Myka wonders what kind of person would work for Sykes, especially after all of his minions have ended up dead. We then cut to Sykes addressing henchman Marcus and his newest acquisition … Steve!
Helena’s Handbasket Is Filled With Cute Cat Toys
Claudia manages to decrypt part of the Super Top Secret File, and comes up with the address of a high school in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Pete and Myka race off, hoping to find whatever is there before Sykes can get to it.
What they find is H.G. Wells, who is now named Emily Lake, and is a schoolteacher … and has a cat … and an American accent … and a dearth of dead bodies surrounding her.
It’s the creepiest thing this show has ever shown us.
Before they can figure out why H.G. has suddenly morphed into Mrs. Crabtree, Sykes sends henchman Marcus to nab her and bring her back. This leads to a knock-down, drag-out high-rise fight between Marcus and Pete, with Pete gaining the upper hand and tossing Marcus to the pavement below. Obviously a fall like that would kill anyone instantly … right?
That’s what Pete believes, until Marcus shows back up a moment later, none the worse for wear.