“Big Brother” Rankings: Is Our Gay Here To Play?

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We were all thrilled with Kaitlin‘s eviction, right? Right. She would’ve been an annoying menace who gamed and won tough challenges, and she would’ve coerced folks like Spencer and Howard into protecting her. Glad she’s gone, but I’m too busy weeping at the fact that Aaryn scooped up HOH status from this year’s one (mostly) luck-based challenge. Ugh! Aaryn with power! Gives me whooping asthma to think about it.

So I won’t. Instead, I’ll rank the remaining 12 HGs from worst to first, hopefully shedding some perspective on where the game’s going and who should be targeted next.

12. GinaMarie

After finding herself in peril and ending up on the block, GinaMarie was still a loudmouth nonentity. She is the Rosencrantz and  Guildenstern of #BB15, wondering aloud about what’s going on while oblivious to the fact that it already happened.

11. Jessie

Would love to see how — in any way — Jessie could be an influential player. So far she’s making Jenn from last season look like Douglas MacArthur. But the flipside of utter blandness is the fact that nobody seems to mind her in the house either.

10. Andy

I still think Andy could be the great spoiler of this season, as he’s seemlessly ingratiated himself with everyone in the house. The man is present for every important conversation. But he still hasn’t made a powerful game move, which can be either a damning or promising sign.

9. Aaryn

Realizing she’s disliked by every houseguest, viewer, host, and noun in the Big Brother world, Aaryn contrived an alliance with Helen where she declared herself her perpetual underling. Canny move, frankly, because now Aaryn is HOH and can aim at a heretofore indestructible target like Amanda. More likely, she’ll nominate Elissa and… Howard?

8. Spencer

I don’t hate this guy’s social game. He’s aware of who’s working with each other, and he acted on the impulse to strike up an alliance after realizing the power of Helen, Amanda, and company. Too bad he can’t showcase his bad-ass attitude anymore with more of that Moving Company “movin’ ‘em out!” steering wheel choreography.

7. Howard

The eminently targetable Howard. What can I say? You can’t help being a thunderingly built dude. If he made it to the finals, he’d be a great candidate for victory, but his chances of getting there are slim. He needs an HOH or two soon.

6. Candice

Candice is a meager-er McCrae. She’ll be in the game as long as her more targetable paramour remains in competition. Wish she knew more about the reality of penguins, though.

5. Judd

“Judd the Stud” is more like “Judd the Disintere-Stud” because he doesn’t know how to wield power, make big game moves, or surprise anyone with an original thought. But the idea of putting Judd on the block is downright laughable. How won’t he be around for awhile?

4. Elissa

Elissa is suddenly an obvious candidate for immediate eviction, but that petty yoga instructor can talk her away into just about anything, even when she’s being irrational. As an MVP magnet, she’s too valuable to be killed off just yet.

3. Amanda

The alpha one-piece vixen is straightforward in her machinations, bold in her gameplay, and utterly righteous. I wish she were a tad less strident, but for now I’m still liking her chances as a longterm player in the game.

2. Helen

Every time I think Helen’s about to do something wrong — get too cocky, exert too much power, play too hard, or realign too quickly — she catches herself and knows exactly when to restrain herself. Remember when she correctly identified America as the week’s MVP? She is so, so smart. And so watchable. And well-lied in the house! Sigh.

1. McCrae

I hate agreeing with guest commentator Jeff Schroeder, but frankly, I said exactly what he did: McCrae is in the best position. He’s got a shield in Amanda, he’s a capable game player, and he’s never at the center of a firestorm. Demographically, he’s this year’s Ian, and maybe there’s a winner parallel there too.

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