“Big Brother” Recap: Can Andy Please Win This Thing Already?

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You can pretend that Big Brother 15 is headed toward an anticlimax now that three of its most polarizing and arguably subhuman players — Aaryn, Amanda, and Elissa — have left the house, but can you honestly guess where this competition is headed? I definitely can’t. I’m perplexed and amused by the remaining quintet, especially when I remember that all five surviving houseguests have both every reason and no reason to win the whole thing. It’s a strange situation that makes perfect sense once you realize this house was filled with players who played too much game too early. Remember Helen‘s diabolical plans? Not really, right?

But I’m here to remind you that one remaining houseguest deserves our complete support. Yep, I do mean Andy, the guy I keep on touting like I’m Don King sitting ringside at his diary room confessionals. He’s got to win this, and on five different occasions watching Sunday’s episode, I realized why.

1. His Elissa smear campaign was amazing.

Did you guys see what I saw? Before Elissa’s elimination? Because it was a scene sent from gay Shakespearean heaven, with Andy as Hamlet and Elissa’s frowning mug as the skull of Yorick. Andy set out to convince the new HOH McCrae that he was trustworthier than Elissa, and that’s a tall order considering Andy just double-crossed McCrae’s girlfriend/momager Amanda, sealed her fate, and sent her off to Julie Chen’s Accountability Lair. Yet it worked. It really worked. Andy vamped about Elissa’s past problems, and his Exterminator alliance members Spencer, Judd, and GinaMarie chimed in with other anecdotes of Elissa’s dishonesty. Elissa tried standing up for herself by arranging her mouth into a human grimace shape, but that was an ineffective bit of performance art. McCrae nominated Elissa because he felt obligated to appease his fellow survivors in the Amanda-free world, and even if he (sort of) guessed that Andy was guilty of ruining Amanda’s game, he didn’t have the guts or standing to do anything about it. That is power. That is Andy’s power.

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2. He still hates Jeremy.

We learned in Andy’s HOH letter how much he hated long-gone villain Jeremy, and that means Andy is one of us (the rational people, RIGHT?). In Sunday night’s HOH challenge, he lamented having to piece together a block puzzle of Jeremy’s face. “How could I ever forget Jeremy?” he opined. “I cannot wait to assemble his beautiful face together.” Andy is one of the few people in the house whose personal opinions about other players seems dead-on. I like a winner whose intuition I empathize with.

Oh, speaking of when Andy was HOH: Remember how most of the internet yelled at him for not nominating Amanda and Helen back then? That would’ve been very dumb, and now he’s outlasted both of those foes. Well done, sir.

3. He duped Amanda so, so hard.

I’m still coping with the fact that Amanda had no idea Andy turned on her. She literally believed Elissa lied on her wedding ring and voted for her to go. Whatever kind of talent/intelligence/sociopathy it takes to lull a blowhard like Amanda into delusional submission, I envy it. But I don’t envy the trauma Andy will endure when Amanda meets him again, sticks out her tongue (which turns into a three-headed snake), and caterwauls in agony.

4. His phony outrage is the best thing about the show.

Andy’s favorite thing to do after evictions is clutch his own face and stare gawk-eyed at nothing, like his brain refuses to process the horror of elimination. It counts as legitimate acting, because no one is calling him out on it. For those who are watching at home, he puts on a stellar show, and he should really be playing a lying crony on a new revival of To Tell The Truth. 

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5. McCrae? Is not an underdog. 

I cringed when McCrae noted, “I don’t know how to play this game without Amanda.” Thaaaat is kind of pathetic. I understand he’d been romantically involved with Amanda since week one, but that’s not an excuse not to be a self-posssessed, fiercely intelligent player on your own. There’s also no reason for McCrae not have a single alliance member within the current top five. He’s had time to forge something real with those weirdos and bearded manchildren, and because of his ignorance, he just a pepperoni-dappled cipher now. I bring this up because I sense a wave of internet sympathy sweeping towards McCrae since he’s “an underdog,” and I’d like to remind McCrae apologists that he’s had a free ride working with (under?) Amanda. She made all his decisions for him and took all his heat. It’s time he paid.

What are your reasons for loving/abhorring/loving to abhor Andy?

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