I’ll give this week’s
B&S credit for this … at
least they spared us one of those syrupy Thanksgiving episodes everybody’s so
fond of this time of year.
You know, one of those episodes where somebody forgets to
turn on the oven and the turkey’s still frozen, and somebody else is stuck in a
snowstorm and might not make it home in time, and somebody else just found a
letter from a recently deceased relative that they can’t quite bring themselves
to open, and somebody else is waiting for the doctor to call with the test
results, and they all come together at the table and realize everything they
have to be thankful for, most especially having each other. I hate those
episodes even more than I hate cranberry sauce from a can.
of all that, we open on Nora leading Saul, Kevin, Scotty and Justin into
the decrepit mansion she bought last episode. I was kind of hoping they’d move
on from this whole charity house storyline, but apparently there’s more here to
Maybe there’s a stipulation in William’s will that they need
to spend the night in a haunted house before they can inherit another winery
and/or illegitimate relative from him. I just hope that if we’re in for haunted
house scares this episode, they’re not going to be ripped off from one of those
Japanese new-wave horror Grudge-fests, where the scariest things are little
kids who screech like cats and long-haired women taking baths.
Nora is showing them around what will one day be “The
Center,” but for every detail she points out, one of them responds with a
snippy come-back. Like Nora says, “This is the Great Room,” and Kevin says, “If
this is the Great Room, I’d hate to see the Good Room.” And when Justin tells
her she needs a less cult-like name than “The Center,” Saul says, “Just make sure it’s not ‘Cancer House’,” and
Scotty suggests, “Roach Motel.” With all these bitchy comebacks coming her way
you’d think she was a contestant on The Hollywood Squares. And all the squares
were simultaneously filled by Paul Lynde.
It turns out that Nora’s brought them there not just to tour
but to help with the redecorating. Which is obviously why she’s asked along
only the gayest family members (and yes, I know Justin’s along with them). It’s
presumably also why they appear to be dressed like a Walker variation on The Village People, with
Nora as the “Construction Worker,” Scotty as the “Male Model Dressed Like a
Construction Worker,” Justin as the “Crazy Homeless Vet,” Saul as the “Foppish
Dandy,” and Kevin as the “Casual Friday Office Drone.” Not surprisingly, Nora
is the butchest of the bunch by far.
She’s so butch, in fact, that she’s even brought along her
own power tools. It turns out that rather than pay some contractor, she wants
them to do the “basic demolition” themselves. But the nancy boys are having none of it …
demolition” is what we do to each other at dinner. After we’ve had copious
amounts of wine.
Justin: You can’t
mix that with power tools!
Personally, I think that mixing that with power tools is
pretty much my dream-come-true perfect episode. Maybe they’re saving that for
the season finale?