“Caprica” 1.02 Recap: “Rebirth”

It’s been a month since Human Zoe, Avatar Zoe and a robotic killing machine collided to form Cylon Zoebot, and everyone’s dealing with it in their own way. For her part, Cylon Zoebot keeps flashing on her life as a human/avatar, staring down her sleek metal body in the mirror, and biting off the fingers of her mechanics. That should be a lesson to us all — be nice to your Dyson vacuum/TIVO/Wii in case it one day achieves sentience. 

Daniel is burying himself in his work; Amanda is drowning herself in home videos; and Lacy — the only person who knows that Zoe is alive inside the Cylon — is fighting off Sister Clarice Voldemort at every turn.

On the other side of town, Joseph keeps accidentally driving to his deceased daughter’s high school, leaving Willy to fend for himself. The eldest Adama is getting angrier by the minute and hallucinating visions of his daughter and shouting "Frak the Graystones!" to anyone who will listen. 

It’s a good thing Willy’s got his mobster uncle, Sam, to show him the ropes. When Willy skips out on Tauron School, Sam takes him downtown, to Little Tauron, where a person’s "tattoos tell the whole story." And by "whole story," Sam means he is allowed to take anything he wants from any shop at any time.

Willy says Little Tauron seems pretty cool, and Sam tells him he used to hang out there when he was a kid: "I’d be hopelessly flirting with some guy; meanwhile, your dad would get a date with his sister."

See how nonchalantly the writers slipped that in there? Sam’s gay. Now, if you don’t mind, he’s got to bust out a store window and teach his nephew how to get arrested. Sam says it’s all about control and power, and if you give your enemies the little things, they miss the big things. "That’s good advice, kid; remember that."

I love the idea that everything Admiral Adama learned about saving humanity, he learned from at his gay uncle Sam’s Crime School for Incurably Bored Boys.

Meanwhile, Sister Clarice Voldemort has invited Lacy to her house to meet the other Death Eaters in her group marriage.

Her youngest, most shirtless husband flirts with Lacy and then tries, in the most unsubtle way possible, to get Lacy to tell him about Zoe’s Avatar. But Lacy’s been to Caprica’s Virtual Club of Teenage Shenanigans; she knows a thing or two about perfectly proportioned pectorals. She enjoys some squirrel stew (seriously) and then bounces.

I don’t know much about biology or the apocalypse, but in five decades, when Caprica gets blasted to smithereens, I’m pretty sure the squirrels will survive. I live in the woods of north Georgia; I know a thing or two about squirrels — like how they evolved from Satan.

At Graystone Palace, Daniel keeps circling Zoebot, trying to figure out how to make the MCP (think of it as an iBrain) work in more than one robot body. Amanda thinks Zoebot looks like a monster. And I think it’s really clever how the perspective keeps changing from Zoe to Zoebot. It’s especially effective when the Graystones leave Zoebot home alone and Lacy comes over to visit and play Cylon Barbie Massacre. I kid. That game won’t be ready for sixty or so years, but it’s gonna be a blockbuster when it debuts!

Lacy conquers her fear of Cylon Zoe (though I notice she keeps checking to see she has all her fingers) as they make plans to get Zoebot to Gemenon. She misses her best friend.

Aww, have you hugged your murder machine today?

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