“Glee” Episode 304 Recap: “Lord Tubbington Thinks You’re Purrfect, and So Do I.”

There are those for whom the appearance of new kid at
McKinley, Rory Flanagan, played by
one of apparently legion winners of The
Glee Project,
Damian McGinty,
was the whole point of tonight’s episode.

There were those for whom it was about an inexplicably badly-dressed
and even-more-badly chapeau’d Blaine dancing
to another Katy Perry song.

But I write this recap for those of us for whom this was the
episode in which Brittany and Santana acknowledged they were dating.
Also: taking baths together. And for whom Blaine’s
sartorial mistakes paled when compared to the fact that he lay down on the
floor and put his arm around Brittany
while Santana glared at him. And who really would have been perfectly happy if
Santana had whipped those razor blades out of her hair instead of just
threatening wee Rory with torture and suffering if he didn’t back off her gf.

Now that you know where I’m coming from, let’s recap, shall
we?

Brittany
has an Irish exchange student living at her house, Rory. She believes several
things about Rory, including that he’s a leprechaun and that he can make her
wishes come true and that the language he speaks is not English.

Rory believes he can get into Brittany’s “pot o’ gold” by
perpetuating her belief that he’s magical and granting her three wishes. First
wish: She wants a box of Lucky Charms cereal that’s all marshmallows.

In the next scene, Puck
and Quinn at their most wholesome
march into Miss Cochran‘s choir room
and give her a tube of under-eye concealer for the bags caused by her late
nights taking care of Beth. In other
words, hint, hint, Shelby,
even though Puck thinks you’re still the “most tappable” teacher at
McKinley, if you want to get some rest or just a night away from the crying,
the two of them are volunteering to babysit.

Quinn offers up their magical night babysitting for Will‘s ex-sister-in-law’s demon spawn
as a reference, and Shelby
takes the bait. (We know there’s an ulterior motive because Quinn and Puck had
one back on their first babysitting job, too. In other words, little bit of
foreshadowing. Glee is getting
tricky.)

Next up is Sue,
running for Congress, doing her on-air commentary on the nightly news, ignoring
every form of equal time law in existence while she rants against excessive
regulation leading to waste like throwing away 300 pounds of expired turkey gravy
just because the government thought it had too many weevils in it.

“Know what has no expiration date, voters?” she
snarls. “My rage.”

She’s also furious that McKinley, a public school, is going
to spend $2004 putting on West Side Story,
a “musical about a race war that glorifies gang violence yet still seems
extraordinarily gay.” After all, she says, $2004 could pay a whole year’s
salary for a math teacher.

“If this nation wants to impress its future Chinese
overlords, we need to get our priorities straight,” she says, and asks
parents to call the high school and protest.

Cut to the phones at McKinley ringing off the hook. Sue has
inspired a Tea Party-esque reaction in at least one parent, who heaves a brick
at Principal Figgins while
screaming, “My son can’t read, and you want him to sing and dance?”

So Figgins decides to cancel the musical to save its $2004
budget, despite Will pointing out that Sue’s pom pom budget alone is $4000 a
month. As usual when it comes to standing up to Sue, Figgins doesn’t.

Santana is at her locker, which has a little drawing of Lord Tubbington on the door that says, “Lord
Tubbington thinks you’re purrfect and so do I.” Since Santana and Lord
Tubbington are my two favorite characters on Glee, this may be my most favoritest moment ever until later when
Santana… well, that would be getting ahead of myself.

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