Admit it. You have tendencies. You’ve thought about it. There was that time at band camp. Heterosexual. There, we said it. And we can prove it… by analyzing your Twitterstream!
The Stockholm Gay Pride website has a cool feature analyzing how hetero
your tweets are, so we thought we’d have some fun and put some gays,
some gay faves, and even some
great homophobes through the virtual Freudian couch and see what they
came up as.
For starters, we looked at ourselves…
This one may come as no surprise, but our Twitter feed is about as gay as Neil Patrick Harris arm-in-arm with Liza riding unicorns in the Sydney Mardi Gras parade while belting out showtunes.
What sets off the gaydar? Gay, GLBT, pride, drag, Bruno. I could go on. And on.
Curious how Ashton Kutcher, Michael Urie, Nigel Lythgoe, Sports Illustrated, Lance Bass and other well known tweeters rank on the hetero scale? Check it out after the break!
First man to a million followers. Married to a beautiful woman, who used to be married to the biggest action star since the Govinator. Heck, he played Kelso on That 70′s Show. Ashton Kutcher, despite his male model days, can be called reliably hetero. So how’d he end up at 69%? Because he’s about as cool with the gays as a straight guy gets!
What key tweet words set off the gaydar? Ass, body, community, bone, bear.
@rnc [Republican National Committee]
It almost is too sad to joke about, the fact that the Republican National Committee is 96% Hetero. We think their tweets are overcompensating.
What sets off the gaydar? BLS. (Although why the acronym for the Bureau of Labor Statistics is a gay signifier we’ll never know.)
@SI 24Seven [Sports Illustrated]
Not one out athlete in any major sport in America. They publish a swimsuit issue, but is there even a single picture of Tyson Beckford in a Speedo? No. The Paper of Record for sports in America ought to come out straight as a road in Texas, right?
What sets off the gaydar? David Beckham, figure skating, condo, brilliant.
Possibly the biggest gay celebrity Twitter user is Stephen Fry, British actor and comedian. He once used Twitter to chronicle being stuck in an elevator (excuse me, "lift") and made it seriously amusing. With over 600,000 followers, his audience is huge. But just how hetero is he?
What sets off the gaydar? Opera, gym, master, bitch, gala.
He may have just announced his intention, again, to be the first gay in space, but according to his Twitter, Lance Bass may have dabbled in his youth, but he may as well be in the closet for his online presence.
What sets off the gaydar? Shopping.
A while back during our Homophonic vlog, we spotlighted the gay group Telling On Trixie who take a great deal of pride in, well, their pride. And it shows up in their tweets.They’re not quite as gay as AfterElton.con, but at 17%, they fly their flag high.
What sets off the gaydar? Pride, musical, Bruno, mean girls, David Bowie.
Michael Urie may not want to talk about his sexuality, and that’s fine. All those big brains in Stockholm, though, think he’s talking quite a bit. Their Twitter feed analysis backs up his statement that he’s "a member of the LGBT community."
What sets off the gaydar? Newton, gay, New York, pride, brilliant.
Don’t recognize that Twitter name? Why that’s "I’m not a homophobe" himself, Nigel Lythgoe, host and judge of So You Think You Can Dance. You remember him, right? He couldn’t possibly be anything but straight. What? 67% hetero? Well, combine him and Michael Urie and you get one hetero and one homo. Wait…
What sets off the gaydar? Brilliant, gay, Barcelona, Prop 8.
Michelle Malkin is listed #3 on TCOT, the Top Conservatives on Twitter. It’s not just homos she hates, this woman actually makes Rush Limbaugh sound reasonable. She’s anti-gay, anti-immigrant, anti-Obama, anti-everything. So why’s she less hetero than Lance Bass?
What sets off the gaydar? Fishing, Politics, bob, military, parade.
The home to Pat Robertson, who’s hated homos for so long. I recently heard him say "that every civilization in history that has embraced homosexuality has fallen" – and he’s moderated his speech. So why’s he show up as only 9% hetero? Unhealthy fascination there, Pat? Think before you speak, because I don’t want anybody thinking you play for my team.
What sets off the gaydar? Shelter, blessing, bless, cheap, body.
This has all been just a bit of fun, and obviously the methodology relies a lot on stereotypes,and one should always beware of stereotypes. You’ve got to be a little skeptical when one of the country’s biggest homophobes (Pat Robertson) comes up gayer than People’s first gay male coverboy (Lance Bass).
Still, all joking aside, it makes you pause and think about all the info you’re putting out in the Twitterverse, and what it says about you when people start analyzing all that information for advertising, marketing or other purposes.
Oh, and this blogger, typing this up right now. How’d he fare? Turns out he’s 54% hetero according to this methodology. I assure you, that should make you highly suspicious right there. Because those unicorns Liza and NPH are riding? I’m actually air support, on my flying horse, Swiftwind. Yeah, I found a way to be even gayer than this:
So how Hetero are you? Give your Twitter feed a run through the system and let us know how you rate in the comments below.
Note: Hat tip to Stockholm Pride for their "How Hetero" website feature