It’s a Walker family Christmas. Pray for Santa. Join us at 10 PM EST for the eggnog, mistletoe, and recriminations.
We start with Nora, who’s running around the kitchen in a Nora-Panic™. She’s trying to wrap packages and bake Kevin‘s favorite cookies, pfeffernusse. I have two words of advice for Nora – Pepperidge Farm! Oh, and maybe fix the level on her hormone replacement patch.
After Nora goes on about finding just the right wine for Kitty‘s first Christmas without Dead Robert, Hawk says “you forgot to worry about Justin.” Nora responds “no I didn’t. I’m making him a huge batch of inedible, burnt gingerbread men.”
Nora throws her mits down and exclaims “why am I even doing this? Why am I even bothering with this huge over-the-top extravaganza when I know they all hate it? I know they’re all dreading it. They’re probably making fun of me right now!” Well Finally! Oh wait, she’s talking about her kids, not recappers.
Kevin is giddy about the dime store Santa that is boozing it up at the restaurant. Scotty reveals a Christmas postcard they got from their pals, new parents Cam and Mitch, and he says “that could be us next
Saul hears a familiar voice say hello, and turns around to see Jonathan (Richard Chamberlain). The two make small talk, and then agree to meet later. As Jonathan leaves, Scotty and Kevin break into a chorus of “Hallelujah!”
Sarah is at the radio station, and she’s in her ball-busting, “Joan Crawford at Pepsi-Co”. mode. “Don’t f**k with me Santa!” She complains about everything, especially because someone … put … nutmeg … in the coffee. To top it off, she remembers she has to go home for Christmas, and it’s going to be three days of “stringing cranberries on dental floss.”
Justin (who we haven’t seen in a while) walks up to nurse Megan Faux and apologizes for not calling her in a month. She gives him the brushoff at first, but then Justin gets “the call” to come home for Christmas. Oh I see. Everyone is going to get “the call,” and they’re all going to rush home. Hey, it’s just like in It when everyone was living their lives, and they got “the call” to come home and battle the evil clown creature who wanted their souls. Actually … it is like that.
For some reason, Megan Faux forgives him, and invites herself to the Christmas party, as long as there’s … figgy pudding. FIGGY PUDDING? FIGGY PUDDING? Will there be candy canes and gingerbread, too?