Liza Minnelli on “Smash”: Dream Performance Suggestions?

Jennifer Hudson, Jesse L. Martin, and Sean Hayes are all booked to appear on the next season of NBC’s Smash, but the show’s newest choice of guest-star is a tad more eye-popping: Liza Minnelli will appear as herself and sing an original song by composers Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman. I say we use this news to explore our own absinthe fantasies about what Liza really could achieve on Smash. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

Eileen Rand (Anjelica Huston) and Liza glumly duet on the Pet Shop Boys/Liza classic, “Losing My Mind.” Throughout the song, Eileen and Liza repeatedly throw slow-motion martini splashes at each other, and by the end of the song, they’ve disappeared in a sea of vermouth and olives. Too conceptual? I think it’s just enough to frazzle Debra Messing for five-to-eight minutes, before she goes on being frazzled about something else. I would also accept line-readings from The Sterile Cuckoo.

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