Morning Meme: Elephant Lives In a “Queer Nation,” Andrew Garfield Heads to Broadway and “Warehouse 13″ Picks Up a New Season

Andrew Garfield
is looking to be an unconventional Spider-Man,
and now he’s being an unconventional mega-star. His next role is going to be on Broadway in Death
of a Salesman
opposite Phillip
Seymour Hoffman
.Andrew Garfield

I’ve tried, but I just can’t get into Google+. And now that
they intend to bring games to the baby social network, I’ll just
be sticking with my
Twitter account

I adore Christine
as any gay man should. But I do think she’s taking Pan
and The Playboy Club a little too seriously. “”I’m rather appalled
that they’re now making television shows about Playboy bunnies and
stewardesses, and I think, really? Haven’t we gone past that, well past that?
It’s one of the reasons I’m so happy to be on such an intelligent show that
portrays women as complex, intelligent, educated human beings.”

Sometimes I wonder if Hollywood really hates their viewers. TruTV has just said yes to an Ashton Kutcher Ashton Kutchershow about the DMV. The California DMV to be
specific. I’ll be honest, I’ve lived in a lot of states, and the California
DMV was the most ridiculous I’ve ever had to deal with, but I can’t see a
program about it working.

Fox has struck a deal with Colton-Harris Moore, generally known as the Barefoot
. Moore had a multistate crime spree that ranged from breaking into
homes to eat an ice cream or take a bath to stealing planes before finally
being apprehended. Moore won’t profit from the deal.

Jane Kaczmarek is stepping into the role of Whitney Cumming’s mom on Whitney.
No word on if she’ll be as psychotic as she was on Malcolm In the Middle.

Fox News contributor Dr. Keith Ablow, fresh off seeing his
name in the press for badmouthing J Crew for publishing pictures of a little
boy having painted toenails, decided to make waves by likening pedophilia to sexual orientation.

Miranda Cosgrove
broke her ankle in a bus accident. iBroke a Bus, next week on Nick!Miranda Cosgrove

Lotus has built a new super car that can run on cheese, wine, and
chocolate, much like an ex of mine. Michael
could never own this vehicle, because he’d never be able to give it
the chocolate.

Australia has begun construction on the first gay and lesbian retirement village in the nation.
Possibly related: Viagra is hiring in Australia.

Christopher Sieber
is taking La Cage aux Folles on the road, with George Hamilton playing the role of

Charlie Sheen’s roastmaster Chris Crockerwill be Seth
. I anticipate a lot of funny voices, and at least two musical

Chris Crocker,
fresh from doing adult films, is raising money for his own documentary about his life,
and he’s going to call it Me At the Zoo. Those poor monkeys,
the things they must have seen.

It’s official – Warehouse 13 iwill be back for another season. Now we just have to get Jinx to
survive that long, and maybe he’ll find a boyfriend.Justin Beiber

If you live in Washington, D.C. and feel too poor after
watching the Dow drop off a cliff, head into Z-Burger on Wisconsin any day that it loses 500 points or more and say
“Z-BEARger” and they’ll feed you a burger.

In possibly the most inappropriate thing I’ve read all week, sculptor Daniel Edwards has made a nude sculpture
of Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez and put it on display.
Upping the ante, he plans on a second Beiber piece, designed to compare what he
thinks the pop star’s peen looks like compared to a reconstruction of Jimi Hendrix’s junk.

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