Morning Meme: “Nymphomaniac” To Use Body Doubles For Sex, Adam Pally On “Happy Endings” and Video Games, and Would One Direction Fans Accept It If One Came Out?

I think I’m going to go with Rod McCullom’s general assessment of Omari Hardwick’s motivations on how he Omari Hardwickplayed a closeted gay man in Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls. We get it, you’re straight.

ABC has ordered a Joss Whedon pilot for S.H.I.E.L.D., though details are light about what characters they’d have involved. You can’t just pull Chris Evans into a television show. How do the comics handle it? Do they have good stories without the super powered heroes?

It appears that not only is Calvin Klein’s ex Nick Gruber writing a tell-all book, he’s also found and interesting new squeeze in John Luciano, the nephew of the famous gangster, who took him on a shopping spree. What’s next, an appearance on Logo’s In The Big House?

Gay Marine Beaten To a Pulp To Fire Up the RNC Crowd.

The Six Pack‘s Ben Harvey offers up an interesting question: What if one of the One Direction guys was gay? He’s not saying one is, but how would their rabid fans react if it were true. He asked boy bander Lance Bass if he thought the fans would react positively. “I actually One Directionthink they would. The younger generation is way smarter than we were. They’re way more perceptive, and they just don’t care. … Back then there was no way in hell I would come out.”

When satire about Todd Akin is so believable, you almost forget to smile.

Especially when you hear Arizona Republican Senate candidate Saucedo Mercer say something like “If you know Middle Easterners, a lot of them look Mexican, or they look like a lot of people in South America — dark skin, dark hair brown eyes. And they mix. They mix in. And those people, their only goal in life is to cause harm to the United States. So why do we want them here, either legally or illegally,” she added, arguing, “They have found prayer rugs, they have found copies of the Koran. So that tells you this is not just poor illegals who are trying to come to this country to try and find work.”

Anti-gay Cardinal Timothy Dolan will bless the Democratic National Convention after he finishes with the Republicans. This should be fun. Not the blessing, how this gets spun.

The kids from Modern Family won’t need to worry about student loans to pay for college after receiving pay bumps to the $70,000/episode range. Except NuLily, because she was just too Nu.

Lindsay Lohan will not be prosecuted in the jewelry heist she was implicated in this week due to lack of evidence. Which is probably a shame, because she hadn’t been in the news for a few weeks.Bill O'Reilly

Bill O’Reilly can be such an asshat. He’s a smart guy, and I don’t think he really believes half of what he says. Now he’s defending claims that there’s a link between pedophilia and homosexuality. “I think the statistics are that the male-boy pedophilia problem is much more intense than the male-girl pedophilia problem.”

Just go read this. Do it. Hero dad.

Orange bag of meat Donald Trump is at it again, tweeting “@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.”

Shia LaBeoufAll that talk about Shia LeBeouf and Nicole Kidman having real sex in Nymphomaniac was grossly exaggerated. There will be real sex in the movie – using visual effects and body doubles. They took a photograph of Shia’s junk so that they could find the right double. I think I’m probably done talking about this movie.

I have no idea why everyone is surprised that the coal miners at the Romney rally were sent on mandatory attendance orders from their company, without pay. This sort of thing has been going on in the coal industry for decades. It’s a brutal, dirty business, and I’m not talking about coal dust.

The FDA has approved a new 4-in-1 HIV medication called Stribild for use. It contains the existing Truvada drug, plus two new drugs. Gilead is expected to throw all their marketing muscle behind the new drug, as current treatment leader Atripla contains a drug from a competing firm.

Justin Bieber is set to be a celebrity mentor on The X Factor with L.A. Reid’s team. No doubt he’ll encourage songs with repetitive lyrics that are hard to get out of your head, and the importance of good hair.

Forbes has released their Top 20 Celebrity Earners. Oprah tops the list with $165 million last year in spite of OWN’s troubles. The onlySir Elton Johnhomo on the list is Sir Elton John with $80 million, tied with Glenn Beck.

David Brooks writes a hilarious account of the Real Mitt Romney.

 

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