Morning Meme: Ryan Steele Will Do Anything For “Likes,” Avoiding Homophobia, and Cee Lo Green Says “All I Need Is Love”

In housekeeping news, snicks would like to beg your forgiveness for not having a Briefs yesterday, Dolly Partonbut he was overwhelmed by the liveblog of Liz & Dick. He’ll be making it up to you today with a liveblog for Days of Our Lives.

In a new interview, Dolly Parton denies that she’s in a secret lesbian relationship with her childhood friend Judy Ogle. But she loves her gay fans, and talks about entering a drag contest as Dolly Parton at a gay bar, and also about the threats she’s received from the KKK for Gay Days at Dollywood, the amusement park she owns. “When it first started there were people giving us threats, I still get threats. But like I said, I’m in business. I just don’t feel like I have to explain myself. I love everybody.”

An Alabama woman was beaten by the 18 year old brother of her lesbian partner over the holidays, and now it’s come to light that it’s not the first time, as he had hit her over the head with a pipe wrench in the past. Police say they have no reason to believe this is a hate crime, beyond all the evidence.

Tank CarderCleveland Browns linebacker Tank Carder called a fan a faggot on Twitter, then issued a non-apology after catching some heat. Outsports notes that other sports leagues have been quick to fine or suspend players over similar actions, but so far, the Browns and the NFL have remained silent.

A third accuser has come forth in the Kevin Clash scandal that rocked Sesame Street, and this one claims that he met Clash on a gay chat line at the age of 16. He’s been writing a book about the incident, and pages will be presented by his attorney in court.

The U.S. State Department has met with representatives of Uganda about their pending “kill the gays” bill and has advised them to “look very carefully” at what they’re doing. Britain has already threatened to cut aid to the nation over the legislation.

SpaceX founder and billionaire Elon Musk has announced plans to form a colony of 80,000 people on Mars in his lifetime, with the average cost of the trip targeted at $500,000, or about the cost of a new home. He envisions a one-way trip with rockets that don’t return, and inflatable habitat domes. Musk has previously said he intends to finish his own life living on Mars.

It’s official! Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel are returning as Cory and Topanga for Disney’s Boy Meets World Sequel, Ben Savage and Danielle Fishelwhich will focus on their 13 year old daughter.

At least one person enjoyed Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor in Liz & Dick, with Lady Gaga tweeting the embattled star “@lindsaylohan you did a beautiful job on ‘Liz & Dick.’ ‘Let no one bring u down, Liz didnt, they always try to knock the greats down a few pegs.”

The latest additions to the AP Style Book (you can probably tell I let my subscription lapse) says that you should avoid using the word “phobia” in stories, especially relating to politics or beliefs, such as Islamaphobia or homophobia. Which reminds me of the Reykjavic Mayor Jón Gnarr who reminded us that homophobes aren’t afraid of anything, they’re just assholes. So I assume that the AP wants journalists to just call them assholes? I’m fine with that.

I’m a little fuzzy on the math, but evidently there’s a loophole that would allow a warp drive to be built, assuming you can come up with the energy, and it doesn’t violate general relativity. Space-time is evidently capable of being moved around a ship under the right conditions, cutting down a trip of a few light years to just two weeks. NASA is actually exploring the idea.

Manolith tackles the question of guys and their pubes, and if you should let it grow wild, shave it bald, or just do some maintenance down there. The general consensus seems to be that you need to trim, and probably shave your balls. I used to have a friend back in my party days who pronounced from his shower as we were getting ready to go out one night “It is every gay man’s solemn duty to shave his Merlinballs.”

Turkey is going to add being gay to murder as one of the few reasons to be discharged from the military.

It’s a sad day for Merthur fans, as it has been announced that Merlin will end after the fifth season. The producers say it’s time, with the finale providing the epic battle for Camelot. Ideas for spinoffs are being explored, but it’s hard to imagine the chemistry of the series working without all the players.

 

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