Morning Meme: Uggie Retires, Mixed Signals From Liam Hemsworth’s Birthday Cake, and Starkids (and Darren Criss) Invade VH1

I want to take a moment and extend my thoughts and condolences to Dustin Lance Black, who lost his brother, his protector, Marcus, to cancer this weekend.Dustin Lance Black

Speaking in Florida Wednesday, Newt Gingrich promised that by the second term of his presidency America would have a permanent base on the moon. As much as I want our space program back to glory, I can’t stomach one term of Newt, much less two.

There’s a great article on the ambitious production of Giant that Matt Doyle is a part of in Dallas, and the hopes it has for Broadway.

I don’t know what to say about these images of Miley Cyrus molesting the giant penis birthday cake from her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s birthday party. I can’t get past the fact that he has a giant chocolate icing red velvet penis cake for his birthday to think about her vamping.

UggieUggie, snubbed for an Oscar but up for a Golden Collar Award, is retiring from films at the ripe old age of 10. Frankly, even in dog years, Betty White thinks he’s a slacker.

Registration is now open for the 2012 Homo Climbtastic Convention for rock climbers. It takes place about 10 miles from my house, but I don’t rock climb, and they’ve never seemed open to an audience.

A while back I had mentioned that Kirstie Ally was starting a new dancing weight loss system after the success she enjoyed on Dancing With the Stars, and she’d be doing a series of dance routines with other stars and posting them. She stopped by Priscilla, Queen of the Desert for a disco lesson from Nick Adams.

I’ve got a lot of conflicts about the Boy Scouts. They went to a lot of trouble to exclude gay kids and gay families, so I hold a grudge. But locally, they’re opening a huge 13,000 acre preserve for their Jamborees, and it’s a huge economic boon to the area, and the visitor center has people I deal with daily who are great people. So I’m glad to hear the national organization has embraced GLSEN’s National No-Name Calling Week. Maybe their stance is softening?

Armie Hammer was arrested in Texas for pot possession back in November, but with less than 4 ounces spread into cookies and brownies, he hasn’t beenArmie Hammer charged with anything.

The story that’s circulating about Demi Moore’s ambulance ride is that she was doing whip-its when she passed out. Who does whip-its at her age (which is close to my age)? I mean sure, teenagers and college students do it, but grown ups?

Would you be surprised to learn that Kim Kardashian has a Google Alert set up for herself? No? Me either.

Colin Hanks is set to guest star on Happy Endings, but he won’t be a love complication for Max, but interacting with Dave through the food truck.

Meanwhile, Sebastian Stan is headed to Once Upon a Time for an unnamed role. He’s already played a gay prince of course.

Steven Spielberg has almost committed to directing an epic based on Moses. It won’t be in 3D, but the studio wants Spielberg to direct it in the gritty reality style of Saving Private Ryan. ”There have been glossy versions of the Moses story but this would be a real warrior story.”

ABBAI can’t believe that snicks missed reporting that ABBA is set to release a new song. “From a Twinkling Star to a Passing Angel” is described as a “demo medley” and will appear on the upcoming deluxe edition re-release of their album The Visitors.

Fleshlight’s iPad case is a real thing. You will soon be able to buy it and consummate your relationship with your iDevice.

The embarrassing “SHCOOL X-ING” outside a Manhattan school has been removed with heavy machinery after the New York Post published a picture of the spelling error, which had been affixed to the pavement since 2010.

New Jersey Democrats blasted Governor Chris Christie for saying he wants to put marriage equality on the ballot for citizens to vote on. “[Marriage equality] is a civil right, which is already guaranteed in our Constitution. It’s up to the Legislature to guarantee these rights.”

Vulture took the news that both CBS and The CW were developing separate Beauty and the Beast projects and wrote up quick ideas for seven other networks’ versions, from USA to OWN to TLC.  So I’m challenging you, the AfterElton.com readers, to write a synopsis for a Beauty and the Beast for LOGO. Ideas?

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