Morning Meme: Young Hollywood Awards, Shia’s Necessary Death, Kid Rock Hosts CMT Awards, and the Fabulous Cagelles Perform

Megan Fox makes Jonah Hex fun, swimming with dolphins, Count Ketchup, and if it’s a cute fight they want, it’s a cute fight they’ll get!

The 12th Annual Young Hollywood Awards have
announced their honorees, and I think it’s safe to say that I’m too old to care
in the slightest. I see a Beiber, a Jonas, two third-string Twilight girls, and
Miley Cyrus’ current inappropriately aged boyfriend.

I got into a bit of a dustup for not fully reading the Time 100 poll results. It turns out I
wasn’t really wrong. The popularity contest allowed us commoners (I voted) to
choose one slot on a list that was chosen by the Time editors. So anybody in slots
2-200 on that list is kind of irrelevant. I am glad to say that the people’s
choice was Mir-Hossein Mousavi, the Iranian opposition leader.

CBS is nudging Conan O’Brien’s legal line on what he can say in interviews,
releasing some teasers from his upcoming 60
interview. Conan sounds very much the victim, saying “He went and
took that show back, and I think in a similar situation, if roles had been
reversed, I know — I know me, I wouldn’t have done that.” I don’t doubt that
Conan got screwed, but it’s hard to feel sorry for someone with a $32 million
severance package and a new show in the fall.

In other Conan news, after reports that his former bandleader
Max Weinberg had spoken with Leno
about replacing the departing Kevin
, Max is being replaced. Amusingly, if memory serves, the
band was the Max Weinberg Eight.
Conan’s keeping the Eight.

The Killers
smoking hot frontman Brandon Flowers confirmed yesterday that he was
beginning a solo project, and it would sound “Awesome.”

Everybody wants a piece of Betty White. The Game Show
Network, fresh out of humiliating episodes of Baggage, will run a seven
hour marathon of Betty White Match
episodes Saturday from 9am-4pm.

George Clooney
spends a lot of his down time in Italy at his Lake Como villa. This week thousands of pounds of unexploded World War II
ordinance were discovered under the surface of the lake, practically at Clooney’s walls. The bomb squad came in and fished the bombs out.

Shia LeBeouf has
signed on to appear in The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. The plot
revolves around him falling in love with a mobster’s daughter and having to
endure one violent beating after another. I’ll buy the popcorn!

Country just isn’t all that country anymore, and nothing
says new country like letting Kid Rock host the CMT Awards.

A day after the Anchorman sequel was announced,
the studio has told the actors and director “No thanks.” Not classy.

I’ve held off on discussing theRestore Stephen Baldwin campaign which has been organized by some religious
groups who want to collect donations to pay off the crazy Baldwin’s debts. But since no one has jumped out from the bushes after a week and yelled “Psych!” I have to say something. Maybe if Bladwin
would stop being such a self-righteous nutjob, he could get an acting gig.

Warner Bros. has thrown a mountain of money at out
writer/director/producer Michael Patrick
to get him back to creating television now that he’s put the
finishing touches on Sex and the City 2.

If you remember the case of the elderly gay couple who were placed in different nursing homes, their belongings sold off before one passed away, we have an update. The county has been defending itself
by claiming domestic battery, but the executor of the estate has come forward
to dispute that. There’s a lot of detail here, so you should probably read it
yourself. If anything, it’s worse than it looked at first.

Yesterday I was told I needed to up my cute animal quotient because had used a hedgehog with a cast on its leg. I’m not saying that isn’t cute, but I’ve used hedgehogs before, and they are cute. But it’s hard to compete with this one:

Baby hedgehog in an egg cup.

As a followup, I’d like to add a kitten playing in the blinds.

And another kitten on his back.

I hope that settles it, because other wise I’ll be forced to break out pygmy marmosets or just throw this kitty into the mix.

There’s nowhere you can hide on land or sea.

Let’s face it, we’ve all wondered at one point or another in our lives who was more powerful, David Bowie or a Jedi.

Now we know.

Some people want to go live in Candyland, I’d be more than happy to live in Meatland. 

And from the this-is-a-real-thing-you-can-buy files, meet Count Ketchup. He’s actually part of a series of attachments called Spreadheads.

Livens up your next cookout.

It’s been Broadway week on Live with Regis and Kelly. Thursday Regis got made up like a Cagelle for La Cage Aux Folles. Fortunately when they performed on the show he only watched from the audience. I have no idea how the Cagelles managed all the costume changes. I also don’t know if it’s possible to make someone with Nick Adams‘ musculature look feminine. Not that I minded at all.

I’ve always wanted to swim with the dolphins. This woman nearly got to do a lot more with a dolphin that seemed to love her company. To me the best part is that whoever was filming the experience thought it was more important to laugh and get it on tape than to intercede.

Jonah Hex stars Josh Brolin in the title role, and Megan Fox as the breasts that are required to sell tickets. I still think they’ve gone out of their way to film him from angles that minimize the damage to his face that are the trademark of the character. Still, I find the trailer oddly down-to-earth for a comic book film.

I found David Plotz making fun of Fox News for taking his "threats" seriously a little disingenuous. Not that I think he advocates burning down Wall Street in the literal sense. But I think it’s a little hypocritical to mock them while still holding up the tea partiers as dangerous. If we were smart, we’d all drop the rhetoric and try governing instead of shouting at each other in fear and rage.

Honestly, Kristin Chenoweth can do no wrong in my eyes. She could probably kill a pile of puppies by beating them with nuns (paraphrasing Bill Maher) and I’d still find her to be just too cute. She came on Regis & Kelly this week to sing "I Say A Little Prayer for You" from Promises, Promises.

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