New “Diana” Poster: God, She Was So Unknowable

diana-movie-poster

I just had to share this poster because it confirms everything you’ve suspected about Princess Diana, namely: She sits by herself and thinks about secrets.

Diana, the new biopic of the late Princess of Wales starring Naomi Watts, comes out November 1 here but has been released in the UK to scathing criticism. The queen’s former press secretary called it “a waste of time and money.” Hmmm. Well, judging by the poster, there’s a chance the movie is a tad too heavy-handed considering its tagline is “The only thing more incredible than the life she led was the secret she kept.” Right, because it’s simply an incredible idea that a beautiful, respected woman could keep a secret. How mysterious of her.

There is something about Princess Diana idolatry that has always drawn comparisons to Marilyn Monroe, and I’m only now understanding exactly why that is. They’re both ladies who sometimes look lonely in pictures, and that’s what makes them beautiful, and they’ll never know it. One Direction completely gets it.

Except Marilyn Monroe was a bombshell. Diana is just the one other type of acceptable female to idolize and mystify, and that is “your mother.” She’s a mom and she’s lonely. That’s where the obsession begins and ends. That’s why she appears as she does here, looking like a girl in your seventh grade health book illustrating the isolation of an eating disorder. That’s a whole lot of water to be this shallow. Poor Naomi!

I say we put our money behind Grace of Monaco. Will you see this?

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