Our MTV Video Music Awards Predictions

video music awards

The MTV Video Music Awards are fast approaching!  While the nominations (announced earlier this summer) were hardly shocking to those keeping an eye on the music biz, we’ve been waiting with baited breath for the official list of winners.  Will the old guard of pop monarchy retain their rule or will the new kids on the block usurp the moon-men once and for all?

We already know that the list of live performers includes Arianne Grande, Iggy Azalea, Maroon 5, Taylor Swift, and Usher.  From that, can we extrapolate who will go on to win the shining astronaut?

Check out a run down with of the nominees with our predictions, thoughts, and analysis, below!

Video of the Year
Beyoncé ft. Jay Z, “Drunk In Love”
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, “Fancy”
Miley Cyrus, “Wrecking Ball”
Pharrell Williams, “Happy”
Sia, “Chandelier”

Our prediction: While we all gagged on Iggy’s Clueless homage, we highly doubt that MTV would disrespect Queen Bey enough to gift the hip-hop new-comer with such a big win.  No, no.  This one goes to Beyonce.

Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino, “3005″
Drake ft. Majid Jordan, “Hold On (We’re Going Home)”
Eminem, “Berzerk”
Kanye West, “Black Skinhead”
Wiz Khalifa, “We Dem Boyz”

Our prediction: Wiz‘s style and Gambino‘s charm are no match for the pop-cultural monstrosity that is Kanye West.  Then again, the abundantly-clear political message of “Black Skinhead” might be a little too edgy for the MTV crowd.  They’ll probably give this one to Eminem, catalyzing thousands of Tumblr posts on what this “means” for “culture”.

Best Male Video
Ed Sheeran ft. Pharrell Williams, “Sing”
Eminem ft. Rihanna, “The Monster”
John Legend, “All of Me”
Pharrell Williams, “Happy”
Sam Smith, “Stay With Me”

Our prediction: It’s no secret that we’re rooting for Sam Smith on this one, but let’s be real.  The infectiously optimistic “Happy” will probably take the prize.  Even though we’d probably all be better off never hearing that song ever again.

Best Female Video
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, “Problem”
Beyoncé, “Partition”
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, “Fancy”
Katy Perry ft. Juicy J, “Dark Horse”
Lorde, “Royals”

Our prediction: This is a tough one.  Despite the ubiquity of “Royals”, the video is fairly forgettable. Iggy and Katy Perry put up some tough competition, but Ms. Carter will walk away with the moon-man here once again.  Bow down!

Best Pop Video
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, “Problem”
Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc, “Wake Me Up”
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, “Fancy”
Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz, “Talk Dirty”
Pharrell Williams, “Happy”

Our prediction: When Beyonce isn’t in her way, no one can compete with the I.G.G.Y.  “Fancy” is taking this one, hands down.

Best Rock Video
Arctic Monkeys, “Do I Wanna Know?”
Black Keys, “Fever”
Imagine Dragons, “Demons”
Linkin Park, “Until It’s Gone”
Lorde, “Royals”

Our prediction: Wait, is rock music still a thing?  Is Linkin Park still making music?  Does Lorde even fit in this category?  None of this makes any sense.  Whatever, just give it to Lorde.  “Royals” is better than anything those straight white men produced, anyway.

Artist to Watch, Presented by Taco Bell
5 Seconds of Summer, “She Looks So Perfect”
Charli XCX, “Boom Clap”
Fifth Harmony, “Miss Movin’ On”
Sam Smith, “Stay With Me”
Schoolboy Q, “Man of the Year”

Our prediction: Sam Smith! Sam Smith! Sam Smith!

No, but, really though, it’ll probably go to Charli XCX.  Who is also great, no shade!

Best Collaboration
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, “Problem”
Beyoncé ft. Jay Z, “Drunk In Love”
Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne and Tyga, “Loyal”
Eminem ft. Rihanna, “The Monster”
Katy Perry ft. Juicy J, “Dark Horse”
Pitbull ft. Kesha, “Timber”

Our prediction: Stiff competition here.  But the Beygency has been hard at work rigging votes and terrorizing potential insurgents.  Sorry, everyone else. Bey and Jay are taking home this one, too.

MTV Clubland Award
Calvin Harris, “Summer”
Disclosure, “Grab Her!”
DJ Snake & Lil Jon, “Turn Down For What”
Martin Garrix, “Animals”
Zedd ft. Hayley Williams, “Stay the Night”

Our prediction: Calvin Harris‘ little jam was cute, but nothing can stop the overwhelming power of Lil Jon‘s molly’d up shrieks.  If DJ Snake and his partner don’t take this one there will be a riot of similar proportions to the one depicted in the video.  TURN UP TO DEATH!

Best Video With A Social Message
Angel Haze ft. Sia, “Battle Cry”
Avicii ft. Dan Tyminski, “Hey Brother”
Beyoncé, “Pretty Hurts”
David Guetta, “One Voice”
J. Cole, “Crooked Smile”
Kelly Rowland, “Dirty Laundry”

Our prediction: Angel Haze is a personal hero and being nominated against Beyonce here is some kind of cosmic injustice.  What was the “social message” of “Pretty Hurts” anyway?  That it is hard to be beautiful?  Come on!  Award should be going to Lady Haze, but B-girl will once again send her competition to the left (to the left).

Best Cinematography
30 Seconds to Mars, “City of Angels”
Arcade Fire, “Afterlife”
Beyoncé, “Pretty Hurts”
Gesaffelstein, “Hate Or Glory”
Lana Del Rey, “West Coast”

Our prediction: Beyonce has some competition here.  Despite our love of Lana Del Rey, we’re pretty sure “West Coast” was shot on an iPhone, and Miss Del Rey looks like a damn fool in that video. Meanwhile, the merry pranksters of Arcade Fire continue to produce “ground-breaking” and “avant-garde” (notice the scare quotes here) videos. Then again, Beyonce is an actual deity descended from the heavens.  So, she’ll win here too.

Best Editing
Beyoncé, “Pretty Hurts”
Eminem, “Rap God”
Fitz and the Tantrums, “The Walker”
MGMT, “Your Life is a Lie”
Zedd ft. Hayley Williams, “Stay the Night”

Our prediction: All T All Shade: This isn’t 2006 anymore, so MGMT doesn’t stand a chance.  Same goes for you, Eminem. Not sure if anyone actually knows who Fitz and the Tantrums are.  Zedd is fun, but let’s get serious: “Pretty Hurts” will win this.

Best Choreography
Beyoncé, “Partition”
Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz, “Talk Dirty”
Kiesza, “Hideaway”
Michael Jackson ft. Justin Timberlake, “Love Never Felt So Good”
Sia, “Chandelier”
Usher, “Good Kisser”

Our prediction: So far we have predicted that Beyonce would win in every category she has been nominated in.  This time, however, we’re going with Sia.  Even the divine monarch Beyonce cannot out-charm the post-modern magic of “Chandelier”.  That creepy little girl really kills it.

Best Direction
Beyoncé, “Pretty Hurts”
DJ Snake & Lil Jon, “Turn Down For What”
Eminem ft. Rihanna, “The Monster”
Miley Cyrus, “Wrecking Ball”
OK Go, “The Writing’s On The Wall”

Our prediction: Miley Cyrus is so 2013 and OK Go’s indie-saccharine schtick is getting old — they’re out. It is almost impossible to watch “Turn Down For What” without immediately bursting into a crunkified dance battle. Nonetheless, Bey always puts up a good fight.  Can there be a tie?  We’re going with a tie.

Best Art Direction
Arcade Fire, “Reflektor”
DJ Snake & Lil Jon, “Turn Down For What”
Eminem, “Rap God”
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, “Fancy”
Tyler, the Creator, “Tamale”

Our prediction: Considering the art direction for “Fancy” is literally 20 years old (older than the average audience member actually attending the VMAs) we’re guessing that Lil Jon is going to win here.  That guy dances with his penis.  What could be better than that?!

Best Visual Effects
Disclosure, “Grab Her!”
DJ Snake & Lil Jon, “Turn Down For What”
Eminem, “Rap God”
Jack White, “Lazaretto”
OK Go, “The Writing’s On The Wall”

Our prediction: That guy. Dances. With his penis.  Do we have to say it again?  DJ Snake & Lil Jon FTW here, too.

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What do you think about our predictions?  Have your own guesses or thoughts? Leave them in the comments, below!

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