“Project Runway” recaplet (5.02): It’s not easy being green

 

This week we entered the second challenge with Team Gay already flagging, having lost … wait, what was his name again? … right, Jerry last week in the Grocery Store Challenge. Will the six remaining gays make it through the episode?

Actually, first allow me to direct your attention to the new Planet RunGay graphic, which we will use for the rest of the season to keep track of our beloved gay Designsketeers. In case you are wondering, the Planet (currently under the rule of Christian Siriano) lies in the Constellation of Fierceness in the Obvious Catchphrase Galaxy somewhere in the Outer Basic Cable Solar System

Speaking of planets, this week’s show was kind of all about "green" design. Not as in the color, but as in "eco-friendly". Funny, but I never really looked at this show as being terribly un-friendly to the environment. Did I miss an episode where Sweet Pea burned a stack of tires to get the perfect patina of toxic smoke on her freshly-tanned rabbitskin minidress?

 

Anyway, the whole "green" thing was pretty much abandoned after the producers used it to lure this week’s beyond-fabulous guest judge, Queen Amidala, to the show with promises that the show would be the Inconvenient Truth of dress-up competitions. Apparently it was also pretty evident to them that this challenge was lame, because they threw in an added curveball: for no reason whatsoever, in this challenge the designers would be designing for their models themselves (um, don’t they always?), and the models would be the ones buying the fabric.

Okay, that last part sucks. The only thing that could have been worse would have been if they had asked the models to go to the grocery store for them to buy their food for the week. Can designers survive on lemon juice and Tic Tacs?

The best, the worst, the eliminated, and the Keith-O-Meter after the jump!

The upside of all this is that we actually got to see what the Designsketeers were made of this week, since they got to work with actual fabric and were instructed to make something nice, not just something made out of bananas and kitty litter.  

Go Speed Racer, Go!

 

The Best: I really liked Suede‘s dress, which looked like he had taken Speed Racer‘s driving suit, run it through a shredder, and made it into a dress. It’s almost enough for me to not hate him for referring to himself in the third person all the time and nicking the name of one of my favorite early 90′s Manchester Sound bands.

 

I also really dug the flowy orange-and-grey frock that Jenninfer made. And one of the short-banged brunette rockabilly chicks (Emily) turned in a pretty hot little black-and-white number that I liked as well.

Tawny Kitaen has the other sleeve

 

 

The Worst: Sorry, as much as I love Stella for bearing a striking resemblance to Jackie "The White Serpent" from America’s Psychic Challenge, I thought her dress was fug. Like, "something out of a Whitesnake video" fug. And the nearly-losing frock (from Leanne) looked like a stewardess uniform from Spaghettios Airways. WTF was up with all those little loops? And that hat? And what looked like a crab stuck on the side of her head? This girl’s cuckoobananas … which is of course why she stays.

 

Oh, and let’s not even talk about Blayne‘s atrocity, which looked like Paris Hilton‘s Madame Toussaud figure got placed too close to a radiator…

The losing dress, by Wesley

 

The Eliminated: Wesley was Auf’d this week. And you know what? He deserved it … not because his dress was the worst, because it really wasn’t. He deserved the Teutonic Cheek-Kiss of Doom because he committed much worse than a crime against fashion … he committed a crime against reality television.

He was boring.

Take note, gays! Simply being gay doesn’t make you interesting enough to last on reality television anymore. Just ask this guy. You actually have to be gay AND batcrap crazy, or annoying, or imbalanced, or hilarious, or brilliant, or something. So, following in the footsteps of not-ready-for-primetime Jerry, Wesley says his goodbyes and goes off to that great Marc Jacobs runway in the sky. Or something. 

Keith-O-Meter 

 

I’m also introducing the AfterElton.com Keith-O-Meter, with which we will scientifically calculate the amount of Keithage in any given Project Runway episode. As you can see, this week’s ep was disappointingly low on Keithage. (Although, as virgo108 points out in the comments, he did make Daniel’s bed for him, which is quite sweet and shows that if the whole fashion thing doesn’t work out there’s a job at the Embassy Suites with his name on it.) Let’s hope next week we get up to his belly-button, at least!

Planet RunGay Status Check: Only two weeks in and we’re down two gays. That’s pretty terrible. Granted, we did have a Team Gay win this week, which is a good thing, but we’re down to five measly gays to last us the next 13 or so episodes! (And let’s admit it, several of these fellas ain’t got what it takes.) Let’s hope they rally big-time. 

 

Be sure to check back next week, when we’ll have plenty to talk about given that the guest host is none other than … Sandra Bernhard!

What were your thoughts on the latest ep? 

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