Reese Witherspoon Arrested, Chris Hardwick Struck By How Handsome Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is

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Reese WitherspoonAmerica’s sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon, is now a jailbird. Reese was riding with her husband in Atlanta when he was pulled over for erratic driving.  When the officer told her to stay in the car and keep quiet, Reese got out and demanded to stand on U.S. soil as a citizen. Further, “As the report details, “Mrs. Witherspoon asked, ‘Do you know my name?’ I answered, ‘No, I don’t need to know your name.’ I then added, ‘right now.’ Mrs. Witherspoon stated, ‘You’re about to find out who I am.’ The report also specified, ‘Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ‘You are going to be on national news.’ I advised Mrs. Witherspoon that was fine.” Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct (obstruction), while her husband blew a .139 and was arrested for DUI. Both posted bond.

Runners at the London Marathon showed solidarity with Boston via a variety of (frequently dirty) signs, black ribbons, and a moment of silence.

Rupert EverettMeanwhile in France, 30,000-50,000 people took to the streets in a last ditch effort to derail this week’s marriage equality vote, with the city fielding 2,000 police officers to maintain order in the face of past violence and property damage.

Rupert Everett admittedly used to be driven by sex, but as he’s aged, that’s changed. “Sex has passed me by. It’s over! I’ve spent most of my adult life, since the age of 10, thinking almost exclusively about sex, and getting it, or recovering from it. But it’s all smoke and mirrors to me now. Sex isn’t really over. I’m just not motivated by it anymore, and I used to be motivated by it purely. I think that happens to a man; it’s part of a midlife crisis. But it’s been quite nice, in a way, because I do lots of other things instead. Since it stopped, that major driving force, I’ve felt much calmer.”Calvin & Hobbes

GoComics has released an iOS/Android/Windows 8 app, and this is important, not because I care about where I can read Dilbert, but because it has the Calvin & Hobbes archives available, and everyone’s life needs a little Calvin & Hobbes.

19 Entertainment has signed an exclusive deal with Varsity Vocals, the group behind International Championship of A Cappella, to develop a show built around the competition and the students who participate in it. Was Pitch Perfect really that good?

If you were like me and loved Shrinky Dinks as a kid, this is a walk down memory lane with childhood favorites, and possibly some David Ortizburnt hands.

At Saturday’s game, Boston Red Sox player David Ortiz proclaimed “This is our f*cking city and nobody’s going to dictate our freedom” on live television, something that would normally trigger an investigation from the FCC and some manner of fine. But the FCC seems inclined to make an exception this time, tweeting  from the official FCC account, FCC chairman Julius Genachowski said “David Ortiz spoke from the heart at today’s Red Sox game. I stand with Big Papi and the people of Boston – Julius.” How will One Million Moms respond?

It’s been rumored for a while, but the New York Times says that the Koch Brothers are serious about buying the Tribune Group’s newspapers, including the L.A. Times, Chicago Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, and The Baltimore Sun. If anyone out there thinks that won’t slant the reporting, I’ve got some oceanfront property in Kansas for sale cheap.

Senator Rob Portman Will PortmanRepublican Senator Rob Portman, who came out in favor of marriage equality when he said that he wanted his gay son to have the same opportunities as his other children has seen his approval rating drop since the announcement. Disapproval of the senator by Republicans increased 13 points, and among independents fell slightly.

We can all take a deep breath, Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles has been named Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles again, restoring the universe to balance.

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