“Revenge” Episode 207: “Felonious Sapphic Blondes”

PREVIOUSLY, ON Reven8e

Well I guess Mason won’t be the submerged corpse.

First, a word about those Neiman-Marcus ads that used characters from the show. I’m all for it, especially since it’s the only time this season that Declan and Charlotte have been interesting. I’d be perfectly happy if they moved those characters entirely to these two-minute soundbites Each week, a different store could sponsor, so we’d get Declan and Charlotte in a KMart interstitial, then the next week Dollar General, then maybe a Piercing Pagoda from the local mall.

Oh, and they did feature Jack in a suit … so they get extra points for that.

It’s a rough morning at Grayson Manor. The bedroom chandelier has gone all pretentious, and Conrad has suddenly forgotten how to shave.

Meanwhile, Mason pays a visit to Emily to tell her that he figured out her secret – she and Amanda were scissor sisters in juvie. A bemused Emily denies it, and threatens a libel suit if tries to print it. Mason does deliver the line of the night – “America will devour the salacious tale of the felonious sapphic blondes and their vendetta against one of the wealthiest families on the planet.” Soon to be a Lifetime movie starring Hayden Panettiere and Dakota Fanning.

Undaunted, Mason contacts Amanda and instructs her to meet him for lunch to discuss her juvie stint with Emily. She agrees, but rushes over to Emily’s where she furiously threatens to dispose of Mason herself to protect her new life, her new baby, and her new fiance. Emily tells her to chill out, and call Mason back, cancel, and tell him if he contacts her again, she’ll get a restraining order.

She complies, but Mason is not going away so quickly. He bugs her at The Stowaway, and she finally relents and agrees to meet him at his place, where she discovers his Reven8e Bulletin Board, and realizes that he’s put almost all of the pieces together. He discuss his next book, which will clear David’s name and portray her as a victim of Emily, and now Amanda knows she has to stop him before that happens. Luckily, she carries a Retractable Travel Crowbar in her purse, and as she gets to ready to haul off and put an end to to the Mason Treadwell Bon Mont Machine, Emily bursts in, stops her, and tells Amanda to go home and be with her family.

When Amanda leaves, Emily tells Mason, “You were this close. But you missed the one thing that was under your nose the whole time … she’s not Amanda Clarke.” Whoa!

Yep, Emily admits the truth, that she’s Amanda, and she has a few choice words for Mason. “After my father was arrested, you were the only person I could trust. I believed you when you said you’d write the real story. You had the power to change my future, and my father’s. Everything that I’ve become, and everything I’ve given up is because of what they did to my father. And what you failed to do for him.”

Emily receives a call from Nolan. Kara was supposed to leave town for good, having finagled Victoria’s credit card number for a flight out of there, but she’s actually rented a car instead, and has “gone rogue.” Emily she tells Mason that now is the time for him to start making amends. She has him call Kara and tell her he has information about Gordon, and they need to meet immediately.

Unfortunately, Mason decides to go rogue himself, and after he tells Kara (per Emily’s orders) that Gordon wanted her to leave and go far away from the Graysons, he also confesses that David was innocent of the charges, and the Graysons were behind all of it. Emily is listening, and flips out, telling Mason that Kara is off her meds, and she’s likely to go looney tunes.

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