“Revenge” Episode 211: “Fauxmance Part Deux”

PREVIOUSLY, ON Reven8e

Well, we were wondering if Padma was on the level, and we learned the answer this week. Unfortunately, “The Initiative” is becoming more and more cartoonish, and I have to admit that there were times during the episode when I was tempted … to switch over the the Golden Globes.

Oh My God , Emily is dead!

We see a dead figure on the ground covered in blood, and then the camera pans over to … an infinity tattoo! Oh Emily, you’ve gone and gotten yourself killed.

Unless …

“Two Days Earlier.”

Okay, I’m officially calling this trick “Overused.” What is the point? No one could believe she’s actually dead, so there’s no suspense involved, and it’s now just an annoying gimmick.

Anyway, Emily tries to explain to Aiden that the kiss he witnessed between her and Daniel was meaningless, and just part of the game. Oh,and if she has to start having sex with Daniel again, well, that’s how dedicated she is to seeing this through.

Emily meets Daniel at his office and asks him to invite the wealthy bigwig investors he knows to a wine auction fundraiser for her kids charity. Because what every kids charity needs is alcohol sponsorship. Daniel gets a call from Helen Of the Initiative, and Emily sees herself out, and helps herself to the receptionist’s phone, listening in as Helen advises Daniel to invest in a company called Stone Haven, which she’s sure will quadruple its investment … soon. Ominously, it turns out that Stone Haven is a “disaster recovery firm.” Is The Initiative plotting another Flight 97?

Emily tells Victoria about this development, and Victoria comes up with a plan. She’ll invite the Grayson business nemesis Jason to the auction, where hopefully he and Daniel will cross swords in front of the investors, and Daniel will be taken down a peg.

Emily has her own plan, and when she goes back to Daniel’s office (knowing that Helen is listening in) she mentions that Aiden will be at the auction. Helen immediately calls Daniel, and Emily asks to speak to her, inviting her to the fundraiser.

“And I thought taming a talking gorilla named Amy was tough”

At the charity fundraising wine auction, Jason and Daniel get into the expected measuring match, with Daniel finally outbidding Jason, to the tune of a million dollars for a bottle of wine. That adds up to about 10 grand a swallow … nice work if you can get it.

Jason is deflated, and tells Victoria he was hoping to impress her, but Daniel showed him up. Victoria “accidentally” lets it slip that Daniel is hot and heavy over this company called Stone Haven, and after she leaves, she overhears Jason on the phone, instructing his company to scoop up Stone Haven before Daniel can. Mission accomplished, Victoria.

You know, for a kids charity fundraiser, there certainly is a lot of bloodshed, gunfire, and gas attacks. Aiden and Helen take the same elevator, and soon find themselves stuck between floors, as ACME knockout gas seeps through and renders them unconscious.

Aiden realizes too late he shouldn’t have eaten that Enchilada platter

When they awaken, they’re both tied to chairs with hoods over their heads, as a voice shouts directions at them. No, it’s not Kathryn Bigelow, it’s someone who demands to know what their interest in Stone Haven is. Aiden tells Helen not to say a word, and when the mysterious voice asks why they’re spying on Daniel, Aiden says, ‘Go to hell,” prompting a pistol whip on the noggin.

Aiden gets the upper hand with their captor, and shoots the mysterious figure dead. As another hooded figure enters and starts shooting, Aiden and Helen escape, and go their separate ways, and when Aiden asks who their captors were, Helen simply says, “I have my suspicions.”

Meanwhile, the other hooded figure is revealed to be … Nolan, and the dead one is Emily, who isn’t really dead after all. She brushes herself off and tells Nolan, “We’ll see if she bought it.”

Emily and Daniel meet at her place, just in time for Aiden arrives as planned to pick up his belongings. Daniel, thinkingg he’s won again, makes a toast to his million dollar wine … which turns out to be rancid.

Also on the Grayson front, Ashley is back, and demands to be put back on Conrad’s payroll … but she’ll try to steer clear of Victoria. I didn’t pay close to attention to these scenes, what with being distractingly mesmerized by Conrad’s shiny, silky legs.

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