“Revenge” Season Finale: Up In The Air


The penalty for Crimes Against Fashion is severe.

Whew! I have to admit, I’ve been a bit disappointed with Reven8e since it came back from its long hiatus. I felt too much of the time it was just spinning its wheels, but the Season Finale went from 0 to 60 in record time (those are the only car metaphors I know, so I’ll stop.)

There were twists and turns, shocking revelations, one good slap, and a cliffhanger that left lives in the balance, and Emily re-examining her priorities for next season.

We really haven’t seen soapy goodness like this since crazy-ass Kimberley pushed the button and blew up Melrose Place. Let’s take a look at how each character fared, and what the chances are that they’ll return.

Emily – She starts off in the catbird seat, having convinced Daniel that The White Haired Man broke in and stole The Incriminating Evidence. Cute but dumb hunk that he is, he believes her and rushes off. She sits down to view the evidence, but it’s encrypted, so she decides to call on Nolan to help her out.

Unfortunately, Nolan is not home, but there’s a live video on his laptop with the written message, “Call my cell or I die,” which should totally be the next ad campaign for T Mobile. She calls, and hears the phone ring on the video. The WHM answers, and the video reveals that Nolan is chained to a wall, bloodied, but alive.

She agrees to meet him, and tells him that she has all the evidence she needs to implicate him in the Grayson crimes, and demands he take her to see Nolan. He agrees, but first she has to chloroform herself so she can’t see where he’s taking her. Okay, I’ve seen enough Mythbusters to know that being knocked out by chloroform is not as easy as just covering your nose with a soaked rag and breathing in for a few seconds, but … I won’t quibble.

“Who cut one?”

When she wakes up, she’s chained to the wall next to Nolan, whose bloody t-shirt completely clashes with his Hushpuppies and Where’s Waldo socks. How embarrassing!

The WHM demands to know where the evidence is, or he’ll slit Nolan’s throat. Emily gives him the key to a locker at the bus terminal, and when he leaves, Emily uses her teeth to … pull a lockpick from her sweater?

She unlocks her handcuffs and frees Nolan, and tells him to go home where he’ll find the evidence in his bottom drawer to unencrypt. He tells her, “I’m not leaving you alone. You’re outmatched by that crazy albino,” but she insists. Before he leaves she says, “I f I don’t make it out of this, tell Jack that I love him.” Nolan smiles, but you know he’s thinking “Sure, I’ll tell Jack I love him … I mean you love him.”

When the WHM returns, Emily is waiting with an axe, and we get a fairly hilarious fight between the two, with Emily gaining the upper hand. As she starts to choke him to death, she has a flashback to her father basically telling her younger self, “Honey, don’t choke white haired men to death.” She relents, and decides to let the WHM live. He says, “I thought you came here to honor your father,” and she responds, “I just did.” Oh, snap.

Unfortunately, Daniel is waiting for her when she gets home, and wants to know where she’s been and why she’s looks like she just had an axe fight. When he tells her “I don’t even know you anymore,” she responds with the same, and goes one step further by accusing him of finally “becoming a Grayson.” She gives his ring back, ending their engagement.

Feeling free at last, she and Nolan celebrate that her revenge is almost complete. She decides to confess everything to Jack, and move on with her life. She calls him and they make arrangements to meet at The Stowaway, but before she can admit to being Amanda Clarke, Jack interrupts her to present her with a surprise … FauxManda is back … and she’s pregnant!

Heartbroken, she returns home to find that Nolan has unencrypted the evidence, and as they watch the footage, they realize that what’s gone on goes far beyond the lowly Graysons, and more importantly, the footage (specifically video of Victoria) reveals that Emily’s mother, who she long assumed was dead … is alive!

Chances Emily Will Return? – Duh.

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