If you’re not already flustered at the thought of who’ll win RuPaul’s All Star Drag Race, we have nothing in common. The brigade of competing queens is varied and tough, and there are plenty of competitors who deserved to place higher in their respective seasons. But that’s just the problem: Some amazing runner-up or third-place finisher is bound to come in ninth here. Hunty, I’m quakin’.
Since there are only six episodes of this extravaganza, it’s hard to assume that the queens will be eliminated in the traditional, one-at-a-time fashion. But in case they are, here are predictions for the chosen 12′s final rankings.
This is purely a strategic guess: It’s my opinion that one of the better-performing queens from an early season has to lose first. Face it, it’d be kind of anticlimactic and lame if Mimi or Tammie lost first. A second chance is a second chance, and if those two early evictees don’t outperform any of these divas, I’d be pretty perplexed. However, Shannel just fits the bill for a rightful first elimination this time around: She performed admirably in her season, but you wouldn’t be devastated to see her leave early. It’s a perfect storm of bad timing.
11. Tammie Brown
I’ll give Tammie this: She has style. And her look is very distinct, in its warped, Valerie Harper-as-Tallulah Bankhead-possesses-Pandora Boxx weirdness. But her eighth place finish in season one proved she didn’t have a lot of fight in her, and I have to wonder: How far can a hokey, overly smiley quaintness really take you? Still love how Akashia‘s lip-sync against Tammie brought Michelle Williams to tears. Such a sweet moment.
10. Mimi Imfurst
I really don’t want to contribute to the wave of Imfurst-bashing that has surfaced n the wake of her casting, but the painful image of Mimi’s losing lip-sync against India Ferrah is too cringe-inducing and colossally bad to forgive. In terms of Drag Race, it may be my Vietnam. No doubt about it, Mimi learned her lesson afterward, but I don’t have enough reason to rank her more highly here — other than she has to be scared to go out like that again.
Allow me to admit that I am underestimating Juju here. If this queen has anything, it’s tenacity — and the image of her full-throttle, seismic “Black Velvet” lip-sync will neeeeever be forgotten. Neeeeever. I’m only wondering if, within the phalanx of all-stars at play here, she is generally matched in the tenacity department.