“Scandal” Recap 317: “Flesh and Blood”

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We open moments after where we left off, with Jake (Scott Foley) letting go of Olivia (Kerry Washington) long enough for her to gurgle out the word, “treason,” of which he is accusing her for bringing down B613.

The two bicker a bit, just in time for Fitz (Tony Goldwyn) and Cyrus (Jeff Perry) to come in and hear Jake talk about how Liv boinked him just to hack his phone. Hilariously, Jake himself observes how he was meant to be the protector of the free world and lost it all over a good lay, thereby acknowledging even to himself that he is in fact a complete imbecile and the worst Command ever.

They all quickly realize that even though they have an image of the guy Mama Pope was buying bombs from they know nothing about him. So they call in the one man who can help …

… and we get that thing TV shows love to do where we follow some mysterious person’s footsteps, like it’s going to be this big surprise. But of course it’s Daddy (back in) Command (Joe Morton), who strides in like he owns the place. Fitz tries to make clear that he isn’t officially Command again, and we all laugh our asses off over that.

Also called into the meeting … Charlie (George Newbern) and Quinn (Katie Lowes), moments after she swore to Charlie that she had no allegiance to Liv and would never set foot in her office again. Charlie walks in and greets Papa Pope all, “Hi Command!” And then to Jake: “Oh, and you too, empty jar of hair gel that thinks it’s Command.”

So the gang’s all back together again. Party at Pope and Associates, BYOB!

Daddy Command says the bomb guy is some Dominic dude who was in terrorists cahoots with Maya going way back – and someone he’s personally got an issue with. He offers advice on how to try to track him.

Jake keeps offering up his own pointers, so Daddy Command starts acting like a tweener whose former BFF showed up uninvited to a slumber party, all, “If he’s staying, then I’M LEAVING!!!” Liv, no dummy, doesn’t even hesitate to kick Jake out, and he bursts into tears running from the room all, “I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!” and Liv is all, “Oy, see what I have to deal with here?”

So Liv chases him down the hall and … Good God, what are you wearing Liv? It’s like they exhausted the fashion budget for the whole show and are reduced to draping her in shredded files.

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Scandal recap 301

Anyway, she chases after Jake and tries to soothe him, saying, “You wanted out of B613. Well now you’re out, you should be happy.” He’s all, “Blah blah blah you’re never out,” and for good measure, tells Liv she shouldn’t be so trusting of her father because he’s totally going to screw her over.

At Liv’s insistence, Fitz is in lockdown at the White House, which means he can’t actively campaign. And there are only 6 days until the election! We know this because someone says “6 days until the election!” every 6 seconds of this episode.

Fitz bemoans how someone’s out to kill him, and Mellie (Bellamy Young) snarks, “Get in line.” Mellie is guzzling mug after mug of “coffee.” “Coffee” that’s shaken not stirred and garnished with an olive. “I’ve got to staaaaand byyyy my maaaaan,” she slurs, and if this First Lady thing doesn’t work out, she’s definitely got a career ahead of her as a country music singer and/or a reality TV star.

Fitz is also upset because some Senator died – upset not because the guy had a heart attack so much as there’s this great opportunity to give a memorable eulogy and win major votes. Really? Do people really base votes on eulogies? I thought everyone based votes on Saturday Night Live sketches and advice from their pets, but what do I know.

Anyway, Fitz can’t go to the funeral on account of the lockdown, and VP Sally (Kate Burton) is having orgasms over this windfall that’s come her way. So Fitz calls Liv to mope about it, for good measure mentioning how the thought of her with Jake sends him into a seething rage.

In full-on wallow mode, Fitz moans about how he’s losing the election, fearing he’s even going to lose the NAACP endorsement. Liv reassures him he’s got it, and she knows this, she says because, “I’m black.” And Fitz is all, “Hey, I thought we weren’t ever supposed to talk about race on this show.”

Fitz emphasizes how badly he wants to win this election because it would be his only legitimate win, on account of the whole Defiance election rigging thing. He’s such a crybaby! You think all those other presidents cried about their rigged elections? Grow some balls.

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