“Shameless” 2.10 Recap: “Stick It in the Wrong Milkovich?”

The creme brulee really hit the fan this week, what with missing, illegally-imported boyfriends, car crashes, incest pregnancies and a garbage bag full of drugs messing up the otherwise perfectly normal and generally uneventful lives of the Gallagher clan.

Let’s dig in!

William H. Macy and Chloe Webb

Frank (William H. Macy) and Monica (Chloe Webb) wake up Carl (Ethan Cutowsky), Debs (Emma Kenney) and wee baby Liam so that they can all watch a bootlegged DVD of Paranormal Activity 3 together. You know what they say: The family that emotionally scars toddlers together stays together.

Speaking of scary movies, it looks like we skipped Halloween – there’s mentions of Halloween candy and shots of shriveled Jack-o-Lanterns (with cigarettes), and Fiona (Emmy Rossum) mentions that it’s November. Turns out that after last week’s cliffhanger, Monica kicked Terry Milkovich’s ass and since then has been doing a relatively decent job of momming things up here at the house. Steve (Justin Chatwin) comes over and tells Fiona that he’s importing Estefania’s boytoy Marco in the hopes of using him to get rid of her.

Jeremy Allen White

We cut to Ian (Cameron Monaghan), who is repeatedly leaving Mandy voicemails in a panic – and it looks like his panic is merited, as her dad has trashed the Kash & Grab. (He still thinks that Ian is the father of the Pop Tart in her underage oven.) Lip (Jeremy Allen White) visits Ian and we see it cross his mind that he might be sperm donor behind his brother’s torment after he realizes that Ian didn’t actually “stick it in the wrong Milkovich.”

Over at the Jacksons’, Sheila (Joan Cusack) hides behind an enormous box (from Amazon – get your mind out of the gutter!) to avoid talking with Jody (Zack McGowan). She’s whipping up some creme brulee for the priest, who is coming by later with her second hospice patient.

Over at Veronica and Kevin’s, Veronica (Shenola Hampton) is stocking up on pregnancy tests – seems that despite plenty of tries, they haven’t gotten pregnant yet. V doesn’t think the problem lies with her, noting: “I’ve had so many abortions the next one’s free.” Gotta love customer loyalty programs!

Monica goes to make pancakes for Frank and – GASP – finds the Squirrel Fund in the Crisco can. She brings it to Frank and they RUN DON’T WALK to a drug dealer with it. “Snort or swallow?” “Both!” Atta girl.

Meanwhile, Estafania’s Marco is missing – the container that Steve was smuggling him in didn’t arrive as planned. I’m starting to wonder if between this and Dexter, Showtime doesn’t have some kickback deal with the Container Shippers Union. Anyway, it leads to an amusing game of Marco No Polo in the shipyard.

Monica, Frank, and Liam score coke, a beat-up car, Oxy, and benzadrine (the Oxy was Liam’s call, I bet) and then Frank gets mad that Monica didn’t score any K and she leaves him by the train tracks. Just like old times!

Lip visits Mandy (Emma Greenwell), who is hiding out at the house of a very pretty lady, and yells to her inside that she needs to call her dad off Ian. A shattered bottle tells him either yes or no – not sure.

Fiona, meanwhile, uses all her free time (what with Monica making sandwiches for the kids and all) to try to take the club manager up on that job offer – too late, it’s gone to someone else. All she has available is a management job – and since Fiona hasn’t managed or done budgets or inventory (I can already see where this one’s going, having caught a single episode of Roseanne back in the ’90s), she walks away.

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