“Shameless” 3.03 Recap: “A Bag of Chips and a Ginger Snap”

At this point, the Gallaghers are as much of a Sunday tradition as a hangover. (Or church, whatever.) While this week’s episode felt a bit like filler, it was still at least the booze-soaked, scam-pulling, child-endangering kind of filler that only Shameless can provide. Let’s dig in!

After an intro shot of a sleepy household that delivers two servings of side-butt (thanks to Lip and Jimmy), Fiona (Emmy Rossum) gets out of bed, still stressed about the money situation. She goes downstairs and finds V (Shanola Hampton) wide awake on the couch – she’s of course stressing over the fact that Kev’s almost-ex-wife showed up out of nowhere. V points out that the house is quiet, so Fiona screams to wake the dead. (And even Carl.)

Speaking of screams that wake the dead, over at the Jackson house, Sheila (Joan Cusack) and Jody (Zach McGowan) are still struggling with baby Himey (nee Jaime). Jody makes coffee using a diaper liner as a filter, which is enough to put me on Folgers Crystals for a few weeks. Nanny McFrank (William H. Macy) swings in – drunk as a skunk – and takes the baby away to his vaccination appointment. Which of course takes place here:

Frank asks bartendress Kate for a thumbtack and some whiskey – he dips the former in the latter and stabs the baby with it. Oh my goodness. He justifies his actions by saying that AIDS came from vaccinations, not “homos” or hetero monkeys. Which makes it all better, right? He notices a news story on TV about a charity giving a boy dying of cancer a basketball signed by his favorite team, and Kate and Tommy wonder aloud how much that basketball must be worth. Frank’s hamster wheel starts its first squeaky revolution…

V goes home to find that Kev (Steve Howey) stayed up all night printing divorce papers off the Internet (can you really do that?) and waiting for her to come home. Aww! His wife comes down wearing next to nothing and she remarks that his bed smells like English Leather – Kev’s favorite cologne, thanks to their shared former foster father. They reminisce and V looks supremely pissed. She reminds Kev that there’s a notary coming at 2 for those divorce papers, so they better get signing. Also: this chick is totally after Kev.

Debs (Emma Kenney) and Fiona are at the grocery store, where Debs gets into a heated argument with the cashier about coupons. The cashier also seems a bit perturbed by her manager, who keeps insisting that she go on break. She up and quits right there, throwing her smock on the ground and giving Debs the opportunity to sneak a few free cans of tuna into their bags. Fiona follows the manager into the break room to ask if she can have the cashier’s job, and he makes some not remotely subtle references to “deli meats” in response. She flat-out asks him if he expects her to blow him for the job, and he pretty much confirms this.


On the way home, a grody guy on the bus pleasures himself while staring at Debs until Fiona notices and chases him away. They file a police report when they get home, and Mandy (Emma Greenwell) is alarmed to learn that either of the Gallagher gals rides the bus without a knife. The cop is nice and kind of hits on Fiona, which reminds me: Where the heck is Tony? Doesn’t he still own the house next door? What, since he moved to GCB he can’t visit every once in a while? Fiona tells Jimmy (Justin Chatwin) about what happened at the grocery store and she decides that she’s going back to take the perv down. Jimmy is supportive, but adds, “Don’t… blow anyone.”

Cheryl (that’s Kev’s wife’s name) asks how Kev broke his ankle, and V says he fell in the tub “like some old Florida Jew.” Fiona pops over to ask V if she can borrow her video camera to shake down the pimento loaf pervert.

Lip, meanwhile, decides to look up the sex offender registry to try and find the guy on the bus that exposed himself to Debs, and he’s alarmed to learn that their neighborhood is teeming with perverts. Um… has he not been watching for the past two seasons? Mandy offers to teach Debs self-defense, and Lip calls Jimmy out on his cagey behavior lately – but Jimmy won’t talk.

Frank takes Himey to the Make-a-Wish-type charity he saw on TV to make a plea for a handout, and is only momentarily thrown when the lady there points out that they only grant wishes to dying children. He recovers quickly: “It’s my other child that’s dying!”

Back in the nabe, Lip raises a mob to go after one of the pervs that recently moved in – some dude named Blake Collins. When they knock on Blake’s door, a pretty young lady who could be a lighting stand-in for Amy Adams answers – turns out she’s Blake Collins, and she had a rather infamous affair with one of her young students while she was a teacher. She insists that she’s done her time and that it was a one-time love affair, but Lip vows to take her down anyway. As they leave her house, Mickey sees a girl he knows next door and he calls out, “Hey, wanna f*ck?” She does. Lip tells Ian (Cameron Monaghan), “I hope you’re wearing a raincoat.” Yikes. I hope he’s wearing a full wetsuit!

Lip also lets slide that in his opinion Kash was just as big a perv as Blake, because of Ian’s age. Wait ’til he gets a load of Lloyd! No, that’s not a euphemism.

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