Stephen Colbert’s Greatest Gay Hits

Stephen Colbert's Greatest Gay Hits

Yes, it ‘s true: is doing for the Colbert Report what we did in 2007 for The Daily Show: mine its funniest and hardest-hitting queer moments. (And we took this opportunity to update The Daily Show piece with some of Jon Stewart’s queer highlights since 2007, too.)

Colbert, like Stewart, is a strong ally for the gay community, consistently using his fake-conservative persona to smilingly tear homophobic politicians and small minded public figures into tiny little shreds of battered, bleeding flesh, and then – still smiling – feed them to the sharks. In fact, the biggest problem with doing this feature was trying to find a way to fit in all the really good stuff.

We think this is a pretty comprehensive roundup. But an exhaustive review of every single great gay moment on The Colbert Report would be nearly impossible. We hope our readers will augment this compendium by posting any of favorite clips we might have missed in the comments section.

The Word: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay
Nov 30, 2005

One of Colbert’s signature segments is “The Word,” where he names a word or phrase and does a dual commentary on it: His spoken words, strictly read in his fake-conservative persona, and a simultaneous written commentary that comes from a very different perspective.

The word in this segment is “Gay gay gay gay gay.” Colbert explains, “In street parlance, that means ‘really gay.’ In Vatican parlance, it means ‘too gay to be a priest.’”

Yes, it’s time for a throw down with Pope Benedict XVI, who wears ruby slippers and fabulous hats while explaining that if you haven’t had the gay sex in three years, you’re not really gay and so can be a priest. But if you have, or even if you just support gay rights, you’re SOL.

Colbert’s commentary includes, “Some people might say, ‘Priests are celibate. What does it matter what kind of sex they’re not having?’”

It wraps with one of the only Roman Catholic inside jokes I’ve ever heard, “Don’t let the narthex hit ya where the good Lord split ya.”


Dan Savage
Dec. 6, 2006

Once upon a time, there was a sex columnist named Dan Savage. A fake-newscaster named Stephen Colbert invited him to be a guest on his show to discuss gay sex, and thus was born one of the great on-screen love stories of the decade.

This marks the first of many, many appearances Savage would make on The Colbert Report, and it includes such classic moments as Stephen sharing his gay porn name – Tyrone Honeybee; Dan explaining how to find the clitoris; Dan telling Stephen that he once thought he was straight, too, and there’s hope for him.

Stephen points out that Dan is married and has a baby, then finds out that the baby came six years before the wedding. “So you’re so outside of the norm that you had to adopt a baby out of wedlock before you got gay married?” he asks. “You couldn’t even adopt a baby as a gay couple while you were married. That was just ‘too straight.’”

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