Hey folks, Mabel here, filling in for Vini B who normally does AfterElton’s Supernatural recaps. She’ll be back on duty next week.
The show kicks off with Dean’s return from purgatory. He appears in the woods in a flash of light and crashes in on a teenage couple’s camping trip. Either he’s covered in blood and ectoplasm or he’s stumbled into their pot of baked beans.
He steals their knapsack – which they really should have had tied up in a tree so bears couldn’t get to it. Then he finds the road and hitches a ride, all to the tune to some seventies angsty Styx song.
After the travel montage he winds up in another part of the forest digging a hole in the ground. He unearths a dessicated skeleton and then rolls up his sleeve to reveal a nasty glowing red bump on his forearm. Either that’s the worst case of poison ivy ever or something is inside of him.
Dean holds his arm over the skeleton and cuts the welt and bleeds out some ectopuss onto the bones.
And voila, a vampire appears. But curiously, Dean seems happy to see him. “We made it out,” the vampire says and the two hug like intimate acquaintances. Does Castiel know about this?
Titles, then cut to “Kermit, Texas” where Sam has gone all domestic. He has a girlfriend (or wife) and a dog and a little house. And he’s also got the Impala. Really needs to have that muffler seen to.
Sam heads out into the night on an as yet unknown mission, and we see the dark outline of someone watching the house.
Sammie heads to “Whitefish, Montana” (which – being landlocked and all – is probably not known for its seafood.) Sam enters a cabin only to be wrestled to the ground by Dean.
Settle down Wincest fans, it’s not what you’re thinking.
Dean slathers Sammy in borax, holy water, and cuts his wrist—all to confirm the Sam is the real deal and not some supernatural facsimile. Then Dean does the same to himself. Yep, these are really the Winchester Brothers – Dean explains he’s been in purgatory for the whole year.
“How’d you get out?”
Curiously, Dean doesn’t say – and he doesn’t mention that boner vampire he seemed so chummy with.
Sammy asks about Castiel. Did he get out of purgatory too? Dean says he’s dead—but he’s cagey about it. Like maybe Castiel isn’t dead. Just dead to Dean. Those two must have had a falling out or something.
Dean asks what Sam has been up to.
Oh this and that. Fixed up the Impala (except for the muffler of course), but haven’t really gotten around to demon hunting.
Dean is hurt that Sam didn’t even come looking for him and starts laying on a serious guilt trip. He only gets more judgey and glowering when he listens to messages on their stash of burner cell phones and finds several from that cute Asian teen prophet of God, Kevin Tran – the one that helped them defeat Leviathans last season.
Man Sammy, you effed up not listening to your messages. Fortunately, Sam catches some background noise in Kevin’s last message and deduces the boy is in Centreville, Michigan – where Kevin’s high school girlfriend is now attending college.
After a General Foods product placement (Doritoes and Lays potato chips in a vending machine) Dean has a purgatory flashback where he’s chopping vampire heads. (Best CG of the episode). He gets himself in a tight spot, but that vampire from the beginning of the episode comes to his rescue. It’s their purgatory meet cute!
The hot and chummy vampire is circling Deanand telling him there’s a way out of purgatory. “Providing you’re human. “ So vamps wants to team up with Dean and hitch a ride. “A soul train — if you’re into that sort of thing.” Dean is skeptical.
Vamps says, “But then, maybe you like being here. Maybe you like being man meat for every Tom, Dick and Harry.”
Okay, not going to touch that one.
Brief aside, but I gotta say that Dean’s new vampire buddy is really hot. Slashfic commence!
Back in the present, Sam and Dean are in a hotel room and Sam is explaining what he’s been up to. He admits to having a dog, which leads to maybe the best line of the episode. Says Dean, ”You know the rules: never take a joint from a guy named Don, and there’s no dogs in the car!”
The boys head to Michigan where Sam and Dean are dressed up like federal agents. A look that Sam has trouble pulling off with those flowing tresses – get a haircut Sam!
They check in on Kevin Tran’s old girlfriend in her dorm. She says she hasn’t seen Kevin in like forever. But after they’ve gone she slits her roomies’ throat and uses her blood to power some demonic cell phone goblet to tell some as yet unknown boss (Crowley maybe?) that Dean is out of purgatory and the Winchesters are looking for Kevin.
Another flashback. In this one, Sam remembers running over a dog and taking it to an animal hospital – where he has his own meet cute with the pretty vet. The same woman who was in his bed at the beginning of the episode.
Back in the present Sam’s computer hacking skills allow him to track down Kevin Tran to a coffee shop in Iowa. Oh for God’s sake, do we have to hit every small town in middle America this episode? Can’t these boys just stay in one place for a little while? Or maybe visit a big city?
In Iowa in an abandoned church they find Kevin, who, to be on the safe side, squirts them with borax (one assumes). They ask what he’s been up to, and we get Kevin’s flashback…
Kevin was abducted by Crowley. Says Crowley to his adorable captive: “Look at you! Haircut, manicure, pedicure… like a new penny. “ Okay, totally getting a vibe there. Crowley’s chicken hawking something serious.
Crowley sets Kevin down in front of a Stone iPad 2 and tells him to interpret. “The sky’s the limit for you and I.”
Crowley, hate to break it to you, but it’s “You and me.”
Kevin is able to decipher something about hell gates in Wisconsin. Doesn’t this show make it seem like all of the United States’ red state interior is one vast hellscape?
Crowley and his henchman think Kevin is mixing up a concoction to open a hell gate, but instead he’s creating a potion to kill demons. Using that, he gets away from Crowley.