“Teen Wolf” Recap 3.18: The Precious

Previously on Teen Wolf, Melissa McCall (RN, MD, PhD, DVM) diagnosed Stiles with a lethal form of insomnia and drugged him up so he could get in one good sleep before he died. Ethan and Aiden followed Scott around begging to be in his pack, and when he continued to refuse, they took their lead from Derek Hale and jumped through the windows in his living room to help him fight some Death Eaters. Chris Argent remembered when he was somehow even sexier than he is right now and then took Allison and Isaac to meet a buddy of his, good old Silverfinger, who told them the Death Eaters are called Oni and the Oni are in Beacon Hills to destroy the Nogitsune. And when Stiles woke up from his hospital slumber, he wandered around the hospital barefoot, and destroyed some Oni with his bare hands. Just reached into the total darkness of their shadow bodies and ripped their firefly souls right out.

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Scott wakes up in the middle of the night because his phone is buzzing and buzzing because Stiles is on the other end and he is freaking the heck out. He whispers to Scott that he doesn’t know where he is, but that it’s dark, and he’s trapped, and he’s cold, and the stench is overwhelming. He hangs up and calls back three times, more frantic by the minute. It’s terrifying, actually. It’s one of the most terrifying things Teen Wolf has ever done and I’m including every time Danny is on screen, which is always harrowing because he’s a gay man of color who has survived far too long in this hell demon town. Scott begs Stiles to give him some hint about where he is, but Stiles has to go again; he’s not alone, wherever he is.

Scott starts hollering Isaac’s name and Melissa bangs on the wall and tells them to keep it down in there, for the love of Neil Patrick Harris. When Isaac smashes through the door all bleary eyed, Scott tells him to get his scarf: they’re going on the most important rescue mission of their lives.

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Lydia and Aiden are hanging out in the art classroom at Beacon Hills High, the former doing the painting and the latter trying to make it into a nude modeling session. In a hilarious moment of meta commentary, Aiden wonders where the security guards are and Lydia says so many people have been slaughtered in this school, no one will take the job anymore. Aiden ain’t scared. He drops his trousers but is immediately cockblocked by the sound of Stiles’ voice coming through some radio speakers asking for someone to save him. And get used to that, Aiden, because Lydia likes your whole banging body, but she loves Stiles’ soul. (Also she doesn’t even know what he’s packing underneath his t-shirts because she hasn’t been to Tumblr.) Anyway, they bounce to go do some superheroics.

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Kira is doing some homework in bed and when her light bulb goes out she starts yelling for her mom to come change it for her. At like midnight. Very rude on a couple of levels, there, Foxfire. When her mom comes in to replace the bulb, her fingers glow with electricity the same way Kira’s do when she gets close to things that plug in. She looks at her mom like maybe she can help her solve the mystery of what’s happening to her body, but her mom is like, “The mystery that is solved is GO TO BED.”

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Scott and Isaac and Lydia and Aiden meet up in Stiles’ bedroom where he has stabbed a pair of scissors into the middle of his bed, a zillion string of red yarn tied to the handles and affixed to the unsolved mysteries on his murder board. Scott promised Stiles he wouldn’t call his dad, but Lydia made no such promise and operates on an intellectual frequency outside of Scott’s realm of understanding, so she says she’ll call him, thank you very much. Scott backs down and agrees to hit up Sheriff Stilinski at the station while Lydia stays behind with Aiden to do some voodoo on Stiles’ stuff.

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Right, so Stiles is definitely in a cold, dark basement. And his foot is definitely caught in a bear trap. And there’s definitely some kind of mummy in the corner, breathing menacingly, and drawing that backwards “5″ on the wall that the Oni tattoo onto people’s ears when they’re not possessed. Stiles writes and cries and shines his phone’s flashlight all around and breaks everyone’s hearts into a gajillion pieces and also: goosebumps on top of goosebumbs. This is some sinister business.

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