I did my homework on Memorial Day: I thought of real veterans for awhile, let my mind wander over to hot movie veterans, and then ranked the 10 hottest of those for your viewing pleasure. I might be the best American I know. Insert your hilarious “You’re a Grand Ole Flag” puns here.
Without further ado, here are my picks for the 10 hottest military gents of cinema. I sort of apologize that the list skews to newer films, but I swear I’ve selected some (literally) golden oldies too.
10. Josh Hartnett in Black Hawk Down
The doe-eyed hunk prince of 1998-2002 capped off his reign with his most critically acclaimed film, one where he got to fill out fatigues and show us how damn manly he could look.
9. Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Stop Loss
JGL pulls off the shaved head look like no thespian since the man who ranks at #2 on our list. If his shorn follicles were semi-tragic in 50/50, they’re much hotter in Stop Loss, even though this movie is also a definitive downer.
8. Casper Van Dien in Starship Troopers
Yes, the crazy (but engrossing!) Robert Heinlein adaptation is not exactly a traditional military film, but the towheaded, blank-eyed beauty of Casper Van Dien cannot go ignored. He has the hots of distinctly ’80s gay erotica. It’s important that we keep that tradition alive. You might also know that he has the perfect ass.