Yesterday, Google celebrated the birth of legendary graphic designer Saul Bass with an awesome little animation on its main page. Bass was most known for his movie title sequences, which included three of Alfred Hitchcock‘s staples: Vertigo, North By Northwest, and Psycho. Just as Google intended, this got me thinking about how hot the male stars of Hitchcock movies are — specifically the 10 hottest dudes in the Hitchcock oeuvre. The results of my heavy contemplation are in.
Call “Mother!” because these 10 gents are psychotically hot.
10. Laurence Olivier, Rebecca
What could be hotter than a debonair man with mood swings? In Rebecca, Laurence Olivier (or as I prefer to call him, Mr. Vivien Leigh) basically traumatizes his new wife (Joan Fontaine) by bringing her into his ghostly old estate and subjecting her to an evil housekeeper (Judith Anderson) who assures her she’ll never live up to the memory of Olivier’s deceased first wife Rebecca. Naturally, Olivier has some secrets to hide, and that’s what makes him hot: the sinister awareness hiding behind that legendary face.
9. Robert Donat, The 39 Steps
The 39 Steps is probably the oldest Hitchcock movie with great replay value, and not just because star Robert Donat is a comely mustachioed sex machine. It’s an actual thriller, and the chemistry between Donat and old-school Hitch muse Madeleine Carroll is excellent. He’s framed for murder and on the run, and that’s a Hitchcock tradition which has given us many a sexy gent. Ow, ow, you cover her mouth, Bobby D.!
8. Gregory Peck, Spellbound
Yikes, he’s hot — even in the most unintentionally hilarious Hitchcock movie ever. Gregory Peck plays Ingrid Bergman‘s super-stern psychologist in this old gem, and he remains pretty studly even while (ahem) maintaining a conversation with Ingrid Bergman as they ski down a mountain together. The phony backdrops of old movies! True classics!
7. Sean Connery, Marnie
Speaking of unintentionally hilarious: Marnie is about a peculiar young lawbreaker (Tippi Hedren) who has a huge phobia of the color red. Haha, teehee. Except WHAT: Sean Connery plays a man who (stay with me on this one) blackmails her into marrying him, then rapes her upon discovering she is frigid. That is horrifying and deeply shocking. Tippi is pretty endearing as the titular subject, and Connery is shirtless and has that face. That’s the only reason he makes this list — not because of his odious character.
6. Paul Newman, Torn Curtain
This? This is a movie I never need to see again. But Paul Newman‘s incandescent sexiness transcends this film, and we’re treated to a couple shirtless shots of him amidst all the uninteresting plotting. Phew.