“The Amazing Race” Recap: Getting Nude in the Netherlands!

Never has Photoshopping a couple of red Xes been so tinged with sorrow.

Previously on The Amazing Race, teams continued in Moscow where they faced math problems, a dance challenge and a room full of Russian ruler impersonators. Jaymes & James secured their first win with Trey & Lexi right behind them. The twins held in 3rd and the inexplicably joined-at-the-hip Ryan & Abbie and Brent & Josh finished 4th and 5th, respectively. James & Abba were unable to locate or replace their missing travel documents and sadly, Team Headbang was Philiminated.

In tonight’s Leg Racers flew from Moscow to Amsterdam where they faced the return of a past Roadblock as a “Switchback”. But first came the Detour, with the choice of “Back in Time” and “Organ to Grind”. For “Back in Time” teams had to use live models and themselves to recreate Rembrandt’s painting The Night Watch.

“Organ to Grind” required one teammate to operate one of three giant crank organs while the other Racer gathered 30 euros in tips. The Roadblock required one member of each team to vault over a muddy ditch to retrieve a pair of wooden shoes with the Pit Stop location printed on them. A flashback to muddy Grandpa Donald vaulting the ditch in his saggy black man-panties in season 12 triggers an actual flashback for me. Seriously, that was traumatizing.

Nightmare fuel. You’re welcome.

There was also a Fast Forward, a task which allows the team who completes it to skip the remaining tasks for the Leg and go directly to the Pit Stop.

Natalie & Nadiya

The thieving twins rip their clue in third place at 9:15 PM and pull out a miniature Netherlands flag. They think they’re flying to France. Much as I would love to see them fly to the entirely wrong country, an Internet search twigs them to the correct destination. Initially the ticket seller refuses to sell them the flight they want because of the short layover time in Rome but the twins harangue her mercilessly until she gives in, probably hoping as I am that they do miss their connection. At the airport they hatch an honest-to-god evil scheme. Whichever team arrives at the U-Turn first will U-Turn Ryan & Abbie. Whoever arrives second will U-Turn the team that’s already passed so the option won’t be available to Team No-nickname. That…is genius. That’s genius enough to spell the end of the Double U-Turn.

Unfortunately they make their connection and are the first to land in Amsterdam. They rip the clue for the Fast Forward. To claim it they must ride a party bus into a canal and eat five herring each before the bus returns to dry land. After squealing about the amphibious bus (I am less impressed since I have the Ducks in my back yard) they scarf their herring and head for the Pit Stop in 1st place.

Serving fishy realness

And hey, look at that, they also dodged having to be a part of their own evil scheme! How convenient for them. They win $5,000 each. I wonder if they’ll send $100 to James & Abba.


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