“The Glee Project” Recap: A Very Lesbian Week

Hello, my lovelies! So sorry for the lateness. Technical difficulties and so on.

This week’s theme was Romanticality, which translated in everyone’s heads (including you, Michael, admit it!) as “Excuse to mack on Blake.”

Spoilers (and snark) ahead!

  • This week’s guest judge is Darren Criss. Fortunately, this was not filmed during a full moon so his werewolf beard and hair were not present.
  • Robert introduces him as one of Glee’s breakout stars and someone who participated in some of Glee’s most romantic scenes. He doesn’t mention that those scenes were left on the cutting-room floor.
  • The Homework Assignment is “More Than Words” by Extreme. Since the contenders were zygotes when the song was a hit, they all look mystified.
  • For no reason I can explain, Extreme’s guitarist and the writer of the song, Nuno Bettencourt, will be on hand to play the song for them.
  • Since it’s Romanticality week, the contenders pair off. Lily wants some Blake action, but he goes with Ali. Personally, I think they should have done All Gay Week to really surprise the judges. That has nothing to do with any desire of mine to see Blake and Michael smooching and you’re a terrible person if you thought it did.
  • Lily and Aylin wind up paired together and I admire them for putting their acrimony aside in an effort to outpace the competition.
  • During the performance, I watch as Michael fails to click at all with Shanna and I sigh and remind myself that this is probably Michael’s last week.
  • Blake, who had smoking chemistry with Nellie, seems sort of blah about his duet with Ali. She seems cutesy and silly.
  • Lily and Aylin really get into the moodiness of the song and put on the best performance of all and they even kissed. I applauded them even as I braced for the horror of Lily winning the Homework Assignment.
  • Then Darren tells them they were over-acting and he hands the prize to Blake. My jaw drops.
  • Blake is given his choice of partners and he betrays me by not picking Michael. You have incurred my wrath, Blake. You will rue the day, is all I’m saying.
  • The song of the week is Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” Lily gets saddled with the chance to perform with Michael and she’s sad that it’s not Blake because she thinks they have a spark. Ah the joys of wishful thinking.
  • The video is about some high school students at Saturday detention sneaking out for some nookie.
  • The studio session is a horror show as everyone struggles to harmonize — everyone except Michael, shockingly.
  • Again, I see no chemistry or vibrancy with Ali and Blake even as the judges ooh and ahh.
  • Lily seems to actually bring Michael up and he shines for once. I take a little of the red ink off her ledger.
  • Aylin and Shanna play this coquettish, adorable couple sneaking off for some non-NOM-approved alone-time. I am utterly charmed by them–until director Erik White yells cut and gets on them for “acting” and not making it natural. Apparently, this week I am not going to agree with the mentors.
  • The bottom three are announced and while I was not surprised to find Blake among them, I was annoyed that the judges sent Aylin and Shanna to the bottom instead of Lily and Ali. I’m also now chewing my nails because I don’t want any of the bottom three cut.
  • Aylin performs Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and while she can’t remember the words she does a great job.
  • Blake gives us “Losing My Religion” by REM. And while I don’t want him to go home, I can’t say his performance did anything for me.
  • Shanna raises the roof with “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson. Early on, I didn’t like her, but by this point, I was rooting for her.
  • However, I was not surprised that she was the one sent home. Sad, but not surprised.

Only two more episodes left. Who will make the finals? Discuss!

The Glee Project airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. ET on Oxygen.

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