The Glee Project Recap: Beef, the Other Fashion Accessory

Your regular recapper is on vacation, so your friendly neighborhood Tiger Cub is stepping in.

This was a week for weird dresses, lots of make-up, gender-bending and (of course) buckets of tears. I really hope that Dasani is one of their sponsors, otherwise these weepy kids will dehydrate.

Here we go with the highlights for this week’s theme, “Theatricality.”

Warning: Spoilers (and snark) Ahead!

  • Lily is over the moon to learn this week’s theme. She immediately declares herself the High Queen and starts bossing everyone around, choreographing the Homework Assignment number and ignoring the mutinous looks around her.
  • Grant Gustin shows up, because when you think of theatricality he’s the last tenth er, a guy you may think of.
  • The number is “I hope I get it” from A Chorus Line. This is a pretty meta song for this show, really, but they at least own that.
  • Grant feels Michael lacks confidence, and even if he might be right, I still want to throw a slushie in his face for dissing my boy. He gives the same note to Nellie, who seems to be unaware of the ax that’s hanging over her head by a rapidly-fraying thread.
  • Ali wins the Homework Assignment challenge, which is inexplicable, but good because it means Lily did not. Petty? Moi?
  • The Big Group Number this week is “When I Grow Up” by the Pussycats. They will all be performing dressed up as famous pop icons. Abraham as David Bowie, Ali as Katy Perry, Aylin as Madonna, Blake as Boy George, Lily as Cyndi Lauper, Michael as Elvis, Nellie as Britney Spears and Shana as Lady Gaga.
  • Nellie is not delighted and whines, “Why do you do this to me?” And the thread frays a bit more.
  • In the recording booth, Michael stumbles and I demand why he insists on breaking my heart.
  • Nikki asks Abraham if he feels androgynous when he is performing. I join Abraham in giving her a “WTF?” look. And she acts like it’s the most typical question in the world. He gets so flustered, he chokes.

  • Shana is given a dress made of meat to wear and it’s all kinds of awful, but she bears it without complaint. I forget all about my earlier dislike of her.
  • Nellie makes a valiant effort to defy her crushing self-doubt as she tries to pull off Britney, and on behalf of introverts everywhere, I say to her, “you go girl.”
  • Blake says he won’t camp it up as Boy George because he has “a gay brother.” I assume that this sibling is a fiction and he’s talking about himself because I am hopelessly shallow.
  • Lily has a great time but fails to demonstrate any sort of character for Robert and Zach. She later explains that it was Zach’s fault.
  • Abraham, Lily and Nellie are sent to the bottom three. And Lily gets on my last nerve by insisting it should have been Michael and not her. Girl, you better leave my boy alone.
  • Nellie blows the roof off with Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the only one.” Abraham shows he can rap with “Stereo Hearts” by Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine. And they throw Lily a slow pitch across the plate by giving her “Someone Like You” by Adele. I think she was a little overwrought, but then I don’t like her.
  • Lily is convinced she is going home, but since this isn’t “Likeability” week, she lives to annoy another day. The string finally snaps and Nellie goes off to start her iTunes career.

Did you think the contestants were theatrical enough this week? Did the tears and hand-wringing tug at your heart-strings? Discuss!

The Glee Project airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. ET on Oxygen.

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