“The Good Wife” Recap: Six Degrees of DOMA

Holllerrrrrrr: After two or three weeks of a downhill streak, The Good Wife used a tried-and-true secret weapon — gayness — to rebound with an episode that was buzz-worthy in literally a dozen ways. A dozen. And one of them involves guest-star Stockard Channing‘s accidental Liz & Dick tribute that trumps anything Lindsay Lohan achieved last night on Lifetime. Not exactly a Peabody-worthy feat, but still, glory to Rizzo.

DOMA, kids. The Good Wife tackled DOMA with a weird case about a shady, heterosexual CEO named Vance and a gay CFO named Dale of TaxLaunch.com. Aggressive lawyer “Bucky” Stabler (Brian Dennehy) argued that incriminating wiretaps between Vance and his wife should be admissible as evidence; smirk-heavy duo Alicia and Diane cited a “spousal shield” that would exonerate not only Vance, but also Dale and his Vermont-wed husband, who were wiretapped too. Ugh, but Bucky knows tricks: Citing DOMA, he claimed that federal law doesn’t recognize the marriage of Dale and his husband, and therefore their audio would qualify in court. Feisty! Then in came ultra-liberal power attorney Jeremy Breslow (Bruce McGill), a superstar in a hammy, Clarence Darrow way, who offered his help to Alicia and Co. for free so he could turn the case into a high-profile venue for the repeal of DOMA. “You are two picturesque, upper middle-class gay men,” he tells the clients, which is exactly what his case needs.

Glamorously nervy gay stuff here, and even if the episode didn’t completely pinpoint the complexity of DOMA (or even namedrop the constitutionality case potentially headed for the Supreme Court), the plot was provocative.

And so were the freakishly cute slabs of boy dreaminess on display last night. Weeeee for prevailing shallowness in my Good Wife recaps! I win, DOMA. Here are all the kickass parts of last night’s episode.


1. Cary’s shiner makes him the most adowwable widdle wawyer I’ve ever seen! Yes he is!
(Tickles.)

Is that not the most aw-shucksiest lawyer you’ve ever seen? I reeeeeally want to pinch those cheeks (even if it would hurt like hell — sorry, bruised Cary babydoll).

Cary returned from last week’s beatdown with a message for Nick, whose sole scene this week was thankfully damn quick. Essentially, Cary told the bastard, “I can use lawyer-speak to pretend I’m being diplomatic with you, but I’m actually a former state’s attorney employee who’s aware of your drug record and can royally screw you. You may have henchmen with billy clubs, but I’m a lawyer with an expensive purple necktie to hang you with. Should be pretty gay. Nice $13 supercut, by the way.”

Nick’s almost out of our hair. Hooray! And maybe Cary will still look a little beat up next week. Hooray… for Fight Club fetishists!


2. Hey gays.

Sure, their bigwig lawyer had to wheedle them into becoming DOMA activists, but let’s remember that the husbands at the center of this fraud case were damn comely and angular. Please note the level of nervous terror in the first homo’s eyes. Please note his suave coif. That is some Farley Granger-in-Rope hotness. Read: HOT. And who knows, maybe he murders people for sport, too. Maybe I’m next! Fanning myself real hard now.

 

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