Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate the disenfranchisement of an entire indigenous people the good fortune in your life. I count The New Normal as one of those things I am grateful for — I just hope it forgives me for voting for Arrow over it in the Hot in Hollywood Awards. It’s not that I love you any less, TNN! It’s just that Arrow is effing amazing.
- We start with Rocky and Goldie recounting their Thanksgiving family horror stories. I’m not sure if the Eddie Murphy-inspired Rocky flashback worked or not. It was either lame or hilarious.
- The gang decides to have a Thanksgiving just for themselves, which is a great idea.
- Unfortunately, after visiting a “pick and kill your own turkey” farm, Shania decides that Thanksgiving is actually about forgiveness. That means that instead of a sweet holiday with our favorite core characters, we are inviting Nana, David’s parents and Clay.
- Clint, Rocky’s sexy brother, is also invited, so that makes things better.
- It seems that Clay is trying to be an actor, which involves him taking a lot of shirtless pictures. I wonder how long it will be before he winds up in gay-for-pay porn?
- We find out Clint and Goldie have been dating in secret and I cry foul. This is what I wanted to see in the show, instead of religious crisis stories.
- David’s parents manage to fake getting along for about ten minutes before they start bickering.
- Jane is only a little horrible until she finds out Clint is going out with Goldie. The final indignity is finding out that dinner will be vegetarian.
- Her tirade is cut short by a beautiful smack-down from Bryan. For all the people keep wanting to define him as the “femme” one, it always seems to be Bryan turning into the Hulk to defend his family.
- Jane is actually cowed. Then she goes out to murder a turkey.
- Hilariously, the fight between David’s parents leads to make-up sex. Well, I think it’s funny. David is horrified. He kicks them out.
- Jane gets booted for her attempted murder of a turkey. I was looking forward to seeing her freak out when the critter bled all over her suit.
- Clay and Clint get into it because Clay doesn’t like Clint’s hands all over his woman. For some reason, no one points out to him that Goldie is not actually his woman anymore. Goldie does, however, banish him.
- Clint leaves too and not for any good reason. Okay, show, but I better see a Goldie/Clint date soon or we’ll have to take this outside.
- The show ends as it began, with our quirky, patchwork family gathered together. To their surprise, Tofurkey is not as yummy as real turkey.
- Everyone decides that Thanksgiving from then on would be about family — the people they chose to be with — and Christmas would be for relatives. It’s a beautiful sentiment and only the tiniest bit preachy.
Clay’s Mom: Oh Goldie, you don’t have to pretend you cook! We’re family. I’ll just bring one over the next time I come over to do Clay’s laundry properly.
Best Performance: This may seem weird, but I’m giving it to Clay this week. For all that he’s a womanizing cad, there’s something sort of adorable about his clueless stupidity. And there’s a little tinge of sadness at the idea that he clearly doesn’t understand why Goldie doesn’t love him anymore.
Gayest Moment: I think Clay’s photoshoot was pretty darn gay…
Missed last night’s episode? Catch it on Hulu.