“The Vampire Diaries” 418: Keep Your Frenemies Closer

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries

Elena and Rebekah, having embarked on their Tour For the Cure, arrive in some sleepy town having ditched Damon’s convertible for a serious upgrade. Who’d they have to kill to get that? No seriously, who did they have to kill?

They’ve hit that stage in every road trip where they’re both on each others’ last nerve. Elena refuses to drive one more mile until she gets someone to eat. She spots a random townie getting into her car and zoops up to her. She vamps out right there in broad daylight but before she can sink her fangs in the townie exclaims, “Katherine, what are you doing?” Townie understands that most folks are fine with being fed on from the neck but she prefers it from the wrist.

Rebekah’s impressed: “Conniving little bitch has compelled the entire town!” Title card!

Elena and Rebekah question the townie and quickly discover that she likes Elena’s new ‘do; and also Katherine is living under the name “Katherine Pierce” which is the name she’s been using since at least 1864 so why all the false identities from Will over the years? They also discover that Katherine has compelled everyone to forget her unless she’s speaking directly to them and that Katherine has a secret that the townspeople have also been compelled to forget.

The Brothers Salvatore arrive where the ladies abandoned Damon’s ride. Stefan exposits that Sheriff Liz tracked the car. Damon snits, “Remind me to send her some mini-muffins.” He further exposits that Liz tracked the car they stole after stealing Damon’s and it’s in Willoughby, the “creamed corn capitol of Pennsylvania.” Damon upgrades Liz’s gift basket from muffins to champagne. I’m sure she’d enjoy both, Damon, so don’t skimp.

Damon bright sides that if Becks does take the cure she’ll be human and he can kill her right away. Stefan dark clouds that if that happens then Elena’s a vampire forever. Damon agrees that a non-human Elena isn’t worth having (I so do not agree with that statement) so puts aside thoughts of revenge, for now.

Back in Mystic Falls Klaus is writhing around on the floor half naked. It’s pretty sexy even with the bloody gaping wound in his back. He’s trying to retrieve the super-stake tip that Silas left embedded in him last episode. He can’t get it even after dislocating both shoulders to increase his reach.

Caroline arrives and Klaus tells her about the attack. He feels like he’s dying. Caroline cradles his face and looks into his eyes with compassion and says, “As much as I would love to watch you die you still haven’t found me that cure.”

Ah, so it is The First after all. They’re not even trying to pretend this isn’t a direct lift from Buffy and honestly, if you’re going to lift from Buffy why on Earth would you lift from season seven? Klaus demands to see his real face but Silas swears unending misery until he has the cure and vanishes, leaving Klaus on his knees on the floor. Still half-naked.

Back in Hooterville the Rowdy Girls drop by the post office to see if there’s any mail for Katherine. The postman comments on Elena’s hair, wondering how she changed in in the last two minutes. Realizing Katherine must still be nearby, the girls split up. Elena spots a possible in her car but discovers it’s not Katherine when Katherine takes her from behind, slamming her up against a mail truck.

Before she can kill Elena Rebekah takes her from behind and throws her to the pavement.

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