“The Vampire Diaries” – Please Exit Through The Backdoor

Klaus and Elijah decamp to New Orleans in search of spin-off success.

What was previously on The Vampire Diaries matters little, since tonight is what’s known as a backdoor pilot. For anyone not familiar with the business we call show, a backdoor pilot is an episode of an existing series that’s intended to test the waters for new or existing characters to see if they can sustain a series of their own. Like that episode of Happy Days that had Laverne and Shirley in it. Or that episode of Happy Days that had Mork in it. Or that episode of Happy Days that had Nancy Blansky in it. Or that episode of Happy Days that had…well, you get the idea.

We kick off the episode with a bumper from the Brothers Salvatore going on again some more about stupid Elena’s stupid emotion chip only to be interrupted by Katherine, expositing that our next destination is…

…New Orleans, and let’s play Big Easy Bingo! After some b-roll of Bourbon Street (square) we zero in on werewolf girl Hayley who’s been hanging out at some café for the last few days. She says she’s addicted to the gumbo (square) and her waitress, Virginia Devereaux, says local legend is that her sister Blanche bleeds a little bit of her soul into every batch. Hayley says she’s been asking after her family but can’t find hide nor hair of them. Virginia explains that “people like [her]” were run off years ago. Hayley’s all, what do you mean people like me? Virginia grabs Hayley a map and explains that in the bayou (square) werewolves were known as “rougarou” (square). She marks a spot deep in the swamp and says it’s the last place Hayley would want to go. Hayley leaves and Virginia and Blanche exchange Significant Glances. Virginia has a strand of Hayley’s hair.

As Hayley drives to the last place she wants to be the Devereaux sisters argue as they walk through an above-ground cemetery (square). Blanche begs Virginia not to do what she’s planning to do because Blanche might be wrong about Hayley. Virginia says Blanche is never wrong. Hayley is the only way to get to Klaus but no other witch will cast the needed spell. Half of them don’t believe Blanche and the other half are too scared.

Suddenly it’s night and Virginia is lighting candles and making patterns with graveyard dirt.

The Originals

Her spell in quick succession causes Hayley’s map to burst into flames, her car to break down and her cell phone to blast feedback in her ear (so she drops it and crushes it with her foot in the middle of the woods because she is stupid). As shadowy figures led by Blanche close in on Hayley, Virginia blows out a candle, causing Hayley to collapse into unconsciousness. Title card!

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