“True Blood”: Where’s Warlow?

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Everyone’s after Warlow in this week’s episode. Well, except those who are after Emma. Or Eric. Or Japanese scientists. Or a clue.

In Willa Burrell‘s room, Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) threatens to “tear her apart right down there,” which sounds a bit cavalier for a first date. (Don’t let your mouth write checks your mouth can’t cash!) Before he can dig in, she tells him something that gives him pause – what, she once dated Michael Douglas? No, she says that she can tell him things about her father’s “experiment” – and she’s not just talking about that time he kissed a dude in college.

Back at Casa Beel, Bilith (Stephen Moyer) tells Jess (Deborah Ann Woll) that he has to save her and all the other vamps in his vision from burning up at a rave. She’s good with that.

Sookie (Anna Paquin) plays with her balls in her room while Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Niall (Rutger Motherf*cking Hauer) chat downstairs. Jason gets a headache, and suddenly Warlow is outside. Let’s just go ahead and make note of that. Warlow bolts, and Niall tells Sookie that she should be taking this seriously, and Sookie has a wonderfully self-aware moment where she acknowledges that she’s pretty much in danger 24/7 now and she’s saving her jazz for when the shit really hits the fan. Peepaw tells her that Warlow is after her because she’s a pretty pretty fairy princess.

Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and Tara (Rutina Wesley) are at Fangtasia waaaay past “last call”. Eric strolls in with Willa – Pam wants to behead her, and Tara wants to glamor her. Eric says Willa is the only negotiating chip they have left with the Guvna, so she’s going with them. Willa tells him about her father’s “camp” for vampires – “Sick, sick shit.” Wait – I thought Exodus shut down? Pam strolls back in, noting, “Everything her father didn’t steal or destroy fits in this box.” Except for the thrones, of course. Or Ginger, but we’ll get to her in a minute. Aww… is this really the end of Fangtasia?!

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