Virtual Beefcake: Video Gaming’s Hottest Hunks


Admit it, he was your first game crush.

From the moment Mario Mario (that’s his full name) fulfilled our plumber fantasies, video game heroes (and villains) have grown increasingly more lifelike and realistic. Well, realistic as in “great, now even CG guys are totally out of my league.”

Indeed, it seems that a current (and welcome) trend in video games is to make the lead character (who is usually a straight male) as smoldering hot as possible. Why is this happening? Who cares? Let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Last week the zombie sequel Dead Rising 2 was released. I doubt that I’ll play it (the first one wore me out with its repetitiveness), but I do have to give it props for making its new hero Chuck Greene as amusingly naked as possible.

Insert your own “heart on” joke

But it doesn’t stop there. Proving that Borat has officially become the greatest fashion touchstone since leg warmers, Dead Rising 2 also gives us this:

You just know that zombie is thinking “Rump Roast!”

Chuck Greene is just the latest in a long line of hot VG characters through whom we love to live vicariously, or we just love to ogle. Let’s take a look at some other virtual beefcake. Whether hero, villain, or door #3, they all have one thing in common:

They’re packing a lot more than 8 bits.

Raiden in Metal Gear Solid 2

For many of us, Metal Gear Solid 2‘s Raiden was our first experience with video game nudieness. And our first experience with the hilarious insecurity of straight fanboys.

After playing through the first half of the game with uber-macho Solid Snake, players then took control of the blond Raiden, and heads turned, then kept turning til they dropped off when Raiden played through part of the game completely starkers.

It’s been almost ten years since the game came out, and people are still talking about the “horror” of Raiden’s cupped goodies and the *shudder* nude cartwheels.

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