“Yes, I named the fern ‘Leena.’ You got a problem with that?”
We start with Artie watering Still Dead Leena‘s plants, and unsuccessfully using reverse psychology to bully them into clinging to life. “Go ahead and wither away, you stupid … rhodoDEADron!”
Claudia and Steve witness the sad spectacle, but before they can delve deep into Artie’s botany psychosis, he orders them to England to investigate a possible artifact use. Two jockeys fell into comas while racing, with both bodies drained of adrenaline. They were riding longshot horses, but here’s the kicker – no one bet big on either horse.
Artie can’t come because Mrs. Fredric wants to talk to him about a “Regent issue.” Steve almost lets out a gay gasp and exclaims “Regent issue? What?” then remembers his involvement with spying on Artie is supposed to be on the downlow, and delivers an awesomely fake, “You know, like, … what?” Smooth. Claudia’s eyes narrow, and she knows Steve is hiding something.
Downton Abbey was never the same after the arrival of Lady Snarksalot and her future brother-in-law
In England, Steve and Claudia investigate the incidents, and learn that both horses involved belong to the same snooty owner. Unfortunately, they can’t get into the snooty country club to talk to him dressed like Steve and Claudia (and when the snooty guard tells Claudia “Perhaps you should contact your fairy godmother and ask her to turn you into a princess,” Claudia motions to Steve and says, “The only fairy godmother I have … besides you, is my credit card,”) so they go shopping at the House Of Lavender and finally gain entrance.
They question the snooty owner, but their case falls apart when another jockey falls off his horse right in front of them … a horse that did not belong to the snooty owner.
Doing some more digging, they discover that all three horses involved were treated by the track vet the day before they raced. Talking to the vet, they learn about the abuses the horses endured at the hands of the now comatose jockeys, abuses that were reported by the same stableboy. A-Ha!
“I keep telling you, I am not a Syfy Channel executive!”
Steve tracks down the stableboy, and finds out he’s been sabotaging the jockeys, using part of Sitting Bull’s Blanket. Claudia hitches a ride with the jockey, and manages to bag it before she and the jockey can be the next victims.
So we learned a couple of things with Steve and Claudia’s mission. We learned that Steve is deathly afraid of horses, which blows my Steve-In-Equus fantasy right out of the water. On the plus side, Steve makes a comical horse noise, which gives me the chance to post this awesome Steve Face!
Also, Claudia cajoled the truth out of Steve about the Regents. He admitted that they asked him to keep an eye on Artie and report back to him. Claudia is aghast, but Steve explains that he did it for Artie, because he’s worried about him, and with good reason. Claudia still isn’t convinced.
And we also saw the return of Charlotte (Polly Walker). The last time we saw her was in the catacombs of Paris, after the death and disappearance of her husband Professor Sutton. She “happens” to bump into Claudia, but it’s not a coincidence, as we see from this ominous warning. Hmm ..